Series of Steps

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

2011-12-10T10:53:00.000-06:00

Happy Holidays! I love Christmas. I love this time of year. We put our tree up a week ago and have enjoyed everyday since! We have NO SNOW here in West Central Minnesota (which is practically unheard of this time of year). I can't imagine a Christmas any other way than snow covered! But there is still time and I have faith it will happen....only time will tell!

I hoping to start posting more frequently. Anyone who blogs knows it is so hard to find time! But I really do miss the blog world and look forward to upcoming posts I have in store....stay tuned. :) It's all about BALANCE and I am learning how to balance EVERYTHING in my life while keeping my priorities in line.

I hope all of you take time to really enjoy the season and remember what it is all about.

What's on your playlist?

2011-10-05T10:19:00.000-05:00

I'm a big fan of music.

I get excited to run actually when I take the time to download a few songs and put together a new playlist.

My list is ~~usually~~ a random collaboration of songs I enjoy.

During a run I'll seek motivation in anything. That's why music can be so great. I don't have to give myself pep talks (which I use to do while training for my first marathon). Some songs are motivating because of the tempo other songs it's the lyrics. On more than one occasion I've been surprised with how the lyric hits me differently while I'm running. It's always fun to find new meaning in anything. Not all my songs are upbeat. Sometimes I like running to mellow music. But on the flip side, sometimes I discover that a song I really like just isn't meant to be arunning song because it's too slooooow.

I'll share a glimpse of the songs I enjoyed during my 10k trail run:

Just A Little While- Janet Jackson
Life's What You Make It- Hannah Montana (Don't laugh! I love this one!)
The Edge Of Glory- Lady Gaga
Good Life- OneRepublic
I'm Alright- Jo Dee Messina (fist pump, Kace!)
Change- Taylor Swift
If I Fall- Dixie Chicks (how appropriate as I'm running down gravel slopes...)
Like A Prayer- Madona
Behind These Hazel Eyes- Kelly Clarkson
I Gotta Feeling- Black Eyed Peas
Only Grace- Matthew West
One Step At A Time- Jordin Sparks
Amazing- Josh Kelley

I told you I'm random. My favorite hands down....Good Life. I don't know why, if it was just the day and the run/experience etc. but that song definitely came on at the right time. It was perfect.

What's on your playlist? Have any favorites?

If...

2011-09-27T14:29:00.000-05:00

I'm 'borrowing' a post from a few other bloggers. Fill in the blanks...

If I were to get pregnant again I would have a meltdown at first and then realize I would be okay.
If I could have any job in the world I'd be a well-respected food critic.
If I had a day to myself I would go for a run when it was still dark out, get a large vanilla-caramel latte on my way to a spa where I would spend the next several hours getting a pedicure, facial & full-body massage. Have lunch with a best friend, see a movie, go shopping, have wine and dinner somewhere ridiculously expensive and come home when the kids are sound asleep.
If I could get married all over again I would do it the same.
If I could live anywhere in the US I would live on a lake in Minnesota.
If Aubrey were a boy she would have been named Owen. If Stella were a boy she would have been Max.
If I could have any talent in the world I would like to be a professional ballroom dancer. My dance background is in tap, jazz & precision/high-kick. I would love to have the skills of a ballroom dancer.
If you met me in real life I think you would have fun. I laugh a lot and always try to have a good time.
If I could go back to school and get a different degree I would major in Psychology.
If money were not an object I'd travel a lot more & take family/friends with me. And have a second home somewhere cool.
If I could meet one celebrity I think I would want to meet Ellen, love her.
If I could only shop at one store for the rest of my life it'd be Nordstrom.
If we got a pet I would want a goldfish. I have a husband and two young kids...I'll take whatever pet requires the least amount of work.
If I could go on a trip, RIGHT NOW, I'd want to go to an Island in the Maldives.
If I had to chose between a house cleaner and a personal chef, I'd pick the house cleaner. I love to cook, hate to clean. Although it would be nice to have a personal chef make 100% organic, low-fat, nutritious meals for every.single.meal. Does the personal chef do the kitchen clean up? If so, I will go with that.

Because I can.

2011-09-16T18:23:00.002-05:00

Last Saturday I ran a 10K trail run. (It may easily have been the most challenging 6 miles I've ever experienced.) I guess I pictured a paved trail with a few hills. Not a gravel/grass/swamp/mud/trail in the woods with mountain peak highs and valley lows (okay maybe that's a slight exaggeration). But it had some definite extreme changes in elevation the.whole.entire.course. It was brutal. With only a weeks notice I jumped on board with my neighbors(who run regularly) and thought it would be a good idea. (This is when I was picturing the paved, much flatter course). Although I'd never ran a 10K I have ran muchfarther distances than 6.2 miles so I thought, I can handle this,right? Mind over matter? (insert laughter). I've been wanting to getback into running yet I have a hard time choosing to run. When I have a reason to run, I find it much easier to stay on track. I admirepeople who run on a regular basis. I wish I had it in me to becommitted to running just to run. I've only ran a handful of times inthe last year. None of which came easy. I quit running after mymarathons in 2010 because I was pregnant and just didn't want to runanymore. Ever since then, running just hasn't been the same. I've forgotten the reasons why, if ever, I loved to run.

I only managed to get 3 runs in before the 10K. During those dreadful runs I found myself searching for answers. How did I ever run a marathon? Is it even possible to enjoy running? Have I ever? Why does thissuck so bad? How do people commit to running regularly? What motivatespeople to run? (Hence my last post.) What for? What is it about? The simple act of "being healthy"? Effort to achieve or maintain a certain size? To have "me" time? To seta good example for my kids? While all of these are good reasons to run,I wanted more from running. For me personally, the reasons listed above are interchangeable with thingsother than running. Things that require less effort preferably.

It was a Friday night when I made the decision to run the 10K. Ithought 8 days of training was doable. I would run 4 miles onSaturday, 3 on Sunday, 4 on Monday, rest on Tuesday, 6 on Wednesday, 3on Thursday, rest on Friday. Good to go. Race on Saturday. After my 4miles on Saturday I was hurting. My body felt sore. My hips ached fromrunning outside on an uneven trail. I pushed through and ran 3 milesthe following day on my treadmill. Again, not really enjoying it, butit hurt a little less than the day before. Sunday I got a call that a close friend lost his fight with cancer. The next couple days I was consumed with making arrangements with my dance classes so I could leave town. I went back to my hometown for three days to be with my family and friends and attend the funeral and wake. I didn'tknow if I was going be participating in the 10K or not. I didn't have the energy to care that much about running. Even though I have a hardtime backing down from things I commit to but I just didn't know how Iwas going to get through it. I got home late on Friday night. Despite my week, in the early hours of the morning of the race I decided toparticipate. I looked at it as an opportunity. Not a race. I knew therace was in honor of someone but I didn't know the story behind it. Themorning of the race, the director explained that 7 years ago his bestfriend, Pat died competing in a triathlon. He said some wonderfulthings about his dear friend and offered words of encouragement andgratitude to all of us runners. Then Pat's wife spoke. She thanked usall for coming and shared with us a story about Pat and what he toldher every time she went for a run. "Go out there and spin the worldhun." My eyes stung with tears. I felt a sense of purpose now being apart of this race. I was moved. I was inspired.

Somewhereduring those treacherous 6.2 miles it occurred to me: Why I run. It hitme like a ton of bricks. I run because I can. This may come acrosssounding corny, but I realized I run for life. Because there are people who can't run. People who are no longer with us. I am here. I will run. Because I can. And somewhere during those miles I sensed a community of runners who all have their own reasons. But at the end of the day we experienced something greater than words can explain. A sense of purpose. A sense of accomplishment. A sense of life. Because we can.

Why do you run?

2011-09-03T16:23:00.000-05:00

Anyone have an answer for me? If you run....I wanna know why? This isn't a trick question. Moreso just a general thirst for insight. My answer changes as often as my mood. But I'm curious to know and be inspired by other runners out there. Please share!

Back to work!

2011-08-23T17:03:00.000-05:00

The last two weeks I've spent "up north" at my parents lake cabin. We got home Sunday night. Yesterday was a difficult day. I felt depressed adjusting to life outside of vacation where Banana Monkeys were normal any time of the day and the sound of summer and all things happy filled the air. I love cabin life. Reminds me of my childhood. Not so much the banana monkey part....that's a new addition to vacation. (Banana Monkeys are a delicious smoothie-type alcoholic beverage discovered in Ixtapa at my brother's wedding. I'm going to have to post the recipe because it seriously tastes like a vacation in a cup). I love cabin life for so many reasons beyond adult beverages. The lake all around me. The sound of a screen door slamming, loons calling, wind in the trees. The feel of the sun on my face, a pine needle path under my bare feet. The smell of campfire smoke. Sandy feet. Summer air. I love it all. It was my little paradise. No TV. No internet. Just outdoor adventures, imagination and board games. It was wonderful. It was perfect. Or as my step-son Mason would say, it was AWESOME. But now it's back to reality and today I've spent several hours working on registration, schedule planning, organizing, updating, preparing, returning calls and basically playing catch-up. I'm back to work-mode and have gotten a lot accomplished thankfully. This morning I had to explain to Aubrey that "Mommy had to work on the computer for a little bit." "Work?" she responded, a little puzzled. And I could tell why. Whenever she asks where Daddy is, the response is usually "Working." So I think she was confused that I was "working" but still in her plain sight. "Yep. Mommy starts teaching dance pretty soon so I have to get stuff ready for my dancers." I went on to say that I work for Just For Kix. She looked at me and asked, "Daddy Kix?" I had to laugh and try and explain what Daddy does. I told her he works in an office with people and helps them with money and numbers and counting. And that's not my watered down version for a 2-year old either. I'm not even sure I know what an accountant does. Something with numbers and money and counting. Right?

I had my try-on ballet shoes and jazz shoes in a box next to the table. Aubrey kept playing with them and trying to wear them. She always wants to be involved with whatever I am doing. I really have no idea how I was even able to get anything done today. Including having time to post a quick update on my blog! Anyway, she wouldn't leave the shoes alone and they were organized and ready for registration so I brought her into her room and we found her own dance shoes. Which led to putting on tights (ballets on tiny sweaty bare feet are a guarantee blister). Which led to putting on a dance leotard. Which led to dancing around for Stella. She refused to pose for a picture for me, so the best I could do was snap a few as she was running away from me. It was a full-out dance mode in this house today. Glad to have my little mascot help me get into the spirit and remember why I love doing what I do! The excitement. The love. For dance.

Today Aubrey reminded me of this poem I once came across.

There are little eyes upon you
And they're watching night and day.
There are little ears that quickly
Take in every word you say.
There are little hands all eager
To do anything you do;
And a little girl who's dreaming
Of the day she'll be like you.

You're the little girl's idol,
You're the wisest of the wise.
In her little mind about you
No suspicions ever rise.
She believes in you devoutly,
Holds all you say and do;
She will say and do in your way
When she's all grown up like you.

There's a wide eyed little girl
Who believes you're always right;
And her eyes are always opened,
And she watches day and night.
You are setting an example
Every day in all you do,
For the little girl who's waiting
To grow up to be like you.

View from my office:

Aubrey was just at my feet trying to put on dance shoes saying "C'mon Mommy! Dance!"

My office setting may not be ideal for optimal productivity. But I do what I can. And I wouldn't want to be working with any one else! :) Love my girls. Love my job. Love my life.

homemade pizza

2011-08-04T13:32:00.000-05:00

We love pizza in this house. During certain times of the year (tax season) we eat pizza more than I would like to admit. Even though not all frozen pizzas are created equal and you can actually find some pretty good-tasting ones it's not an ideal meal. Frozen pizza is expensive and let's face it, it's crap (even if it tastes good). Anyway, we haven't bought frozen pizza in months. Here's why:

We were out of pizza one night and I didn't feel like running to the store so I decided to attempt my own crust. I googled pizza crust recipes and chose the easiest no-rise pizza dough recipe I could find (to save time). My expectations were not high at all and I assumed it would be a one time thing to get the job done. We were pleasantly surprised. We've probably used this recipe a dozen times since discovering. The only thing I do differently is add more water. I also season the dough before baking. I've used everything from Italian seasoning; basil, oregano, thyme, marjoram, & garlic powder, to chipotle seasoning all depending on what I'm planning on using for toppings.

I'm hooked on making homemade pizza because there are so many possibilities to explore with flavor. And it's a great way to use up veggies & fresh herbs. We usually just start pulling stuff out of the fridge and throwing whatever we can find on there until it looks good.

One of my favorite combos we tried was an Italian-style and included fresh garlic, roasted red pepper, fresh mozzarella, spicy venison sausage, & fresh basil.

So good.

Barbecue Chicken pizza turned out pretty good too. We used chipotle seasoning in the dough, barbecue sauce instead of traditional pizza sauce, shredded grilled chicken, red and yellow peppers, cherry tomatoes & fresh cilantro.

Margherita is one of my faves. I love the fresh simplicity of the flavors. Although I strayed from the classic version and used pizza sauce instead of olive oil and added red pepper, it was still delish.

Now that we make our own pizza I don't feel like I'm eating junk when we have pizza. And it's a meal we can make without having to run to the store for something because you can be flexible and creative with how you make it. The basics (flour, water, oil, salt, baking powder) are always on hand. The rest of the ingredients are interchangeable. I try to keep a jar of pizza sauce in my pantry at all times. Someday I would like to attempt to make homemade pizza sauce. Someday. But even if you don't have pizza sauce on hand you can use olive oil or make a white sauce, or any kind of sauce for that matter. We once mixed ranch ressing with barbecue for sauce and used that instead of pizza sauce and it was surprisingly good. We usually have some kind of cheese in our fridge or freezer (I've actually made pizza without cheese before and believe it or not it's still delicious). Garlic is a must and I always have fresh garlic on hand. Thanks to my mother in law whogifted me with an herb garden for my birthday I always have freshparsley, cilantro & basil on hand too. Fresh herbs will take your pizza to a new level of deliciousness so I highly recommend using them! Thanks to my hunter husband we always have plenty of venison sausage in our freezer. (I've never been a fan of venison sausage, but I must say it's awesome on pizza.) You really can make pizza with whatever you have on hand! Try it! :)

It's easy enough, cost efficient, & a healthier alternative to the pre-packaged frozen guys. Plus it's fun to make. You can even get the kiddos to help!

mixing the dough

floured surface for rolling out the dough

ready to roll

rolled out and transferred to a baking sheet sprayed with cooking spray.

ready for toppings

Aubrey loves pizza. (As I was working on this post she saw the pictures she asked, "Pizza time mom?") She's always eager to help when I'm cooking and with assembling a pizza it's easy enough to let her. She liked placing the toppings and shredding basil. She was a good little helper!

missed a spot...

Ready to bake!

How about you? Do you make homemade pizza? What are your favorite topping combos?

All about Stella

2011-07-30T13:15:00.001-05:00

Stella is going to be 5 months old soon. I've barely posted pictures on here so I've decided to do some catching up! She weighed 14.5 pounds at her 4 month appointment on July 13th. She also rolled over (tummy to back) the day after her appointment. I was reading through Aubrey's baby book and discovered Aubrey started rolling over at 14 1/2 weeks old. So I put Stella on her tummy on the floor with a toy and she looked at me like "watch this" and sure enough she rolled over! I grabbed the video camera and placed the toy in the same spot and she did it again. Just like that. I've tried to get her to show other people but haven't had any luck. She's only rolled over twice but at least we got it recorded on video! :)

We haven't started solid foods yet and I am still breastfeeding. She's had formula a number of times but definitely prefers breast milk. Her bedtime is typically 8:30-9:30pm and she sleeps until about 5am, sometimes 6am- wakes up to be nursed and falls back asleep for 4 hours. She'll nurse again when she wakes up. We play for a couple hours and then she usually takes one more long nap in the afternoon if I keep her awake for at least 3 hours. (Otherwise it ends up being random half hour naps throughout the afternoon). She usually eats every 4 hours (with the exception of during the night). She'll sit in her bumbo, play on her tummy or in an exersaucer for a little while (10-15 minutes at a time) but definitely prefers being held. She loves "standing" and stretching her legs when she's being held and has since about 10 weeks old. She's getting stronger at holding herself in a sitting position with the support of a boppy pillow. She's wearing size 2 diapers and size 3-6 month clothes.

She loves mirrors and squeals and smiles at herself.

She loves being held.

She loves being outside.

She is starting to enjoy riding in the car (for awhile traveling in the car was definitely a challenge).

She doesn't really care for the Moby wrap anymore and prefers the Baby Bjorn and facing outward.

She is showing an interest in food and watches attentively when someone is eating.

She grabs at everything within reach (including mommy's hair and necklaces).

She loves to look at books and rock.

She loves voices and likes being talked to or sung to.

Noises like running water, music, fans etc. are calming to her.

She is becoming less and less irritable/colicky.

She is a very mellow girl most of the day.

She likes to suck her thumb (started at 7 weeks old).

She also liks to suck her hand or fingers.

She recently started doing this thing where she sucks on her lip. (it's pretty cute!)

She's not a fan of pacifiers but will take them once in awhile.

She loves taking baths.

She's a sweet baby and it's hard to imagine what life was like without her!

just a few hours old

about 2 weeks old. You had so much hair!

one month old

2 months old

3 months old

4 months old. Where did you get those big blue eyes?!?

(Aubrey has brown eyes. Travis and I both have brown/hazelish eyes).

They say by 6 months baby's eyes will be the color that they remain. Aubrey's started out dark blue but turned brown. We're pretty sure Stella's are going to stay blue.

Just for fun, here is a picture of Aubrey at about 4.5 months old (same as Stella). So many people comment that Stella looks "just like Aubrey" but I have always thought they look like their own little selves.

Aubrey (above) Stella (below) both about the same age wearing the same outfit.

To my sweet Stella~

I love your little fingers that always find a way to try and grab my hand.

I love the look on your face when you stare at me like you've known me forever.

I love your sweet voice and the sounds you make.

I love your little dimple by your chin when you smile really big.

I love how excited you get when your silly sister Aubrey talks to you.

I love your big open-mouth smile and the way you laugh.

I love watching you sleep.

I love your crazy long hair.

I love your cute ears.

I love your chubby cheeks and the way you laugh when I kiss them.

I love your big blue eyes and the way you stare in wonder.

I love that God picked me to be your mom.

Life is wonderful and I'm so happy you came into the world!

The start of something good.

2011-07-21T11:42:00.001-05:00

7.21.07

The perfect day.

The start of something good.

The most important thing that I've learned over the past four years is that with everything there is a season. When you are planning a wedding you picture your life ahead to be everything you've always dreamed of. You don't plan for a miscarriage. You don't plan for losing your job. You don't plan for tragedies to occur that take the life of loved ones. Not to make light of any of those things, but that is life. And just as seasons are ever changing, so is life. Nothing ever stays the same. It's constantly changing. And as much as we would like to be in control and plan our lives out to be the way we want them to be we don't get to decide everything. Just like we don't get to decide if the sun is going to come out today. But all you need is faith that the sun is still out there somewhere. And even though you won't always be able to see it shining brightly and feel it's warmth on your skin, as long as you trust and believe that it's still there, things will get better and you will see the sun again soon enough.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans toprosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

Picture updates of "Summer Fun"

2011-07-06T15:18:00.000-05:00

Aubrey filling up her turtle pool

Hooray! It's ready!

Splashin' in the puddles by the slip 'n' slide! Had to ditch the suit.

I guess it was too hot!

Stella enjoying the shade and the warm breeze!

She LOVES her big sister and thinks she sooo funny.

Pretending to take pictures?...not sure what she's up to here.

Taking a break for lunch.

sunny days + playing in water + eating outside = summer at it's finest!

Hope you are all enjoying your summer as much as we are!

Summer Fun!

2011-07-01T15:24:00.000-05:00

It's finally felt like summer to me. With the gorgeous weather this week we've been spent a lot of time playing outside. We filled up Aubrey's little turtle pool and put together her new slip 'n' slide. The neighbor kids even came over to join in the fun. Aubrey likes to play with the water that sprays out of the sides and watch the big kids run and slide. Stella and I enjoy the shade of the nice big umbrella at our patio table. Wednesday the weather was perfect and with the warm breeze in the air I couldn't help but smile and think about how great of a day it was!

*I will have to add pics next week!

Wishing all of you a fabulous 4th of July weekend! And hoping for more gorgeous weather ahead!

Thai Chili Chicken Strips

2011-06-22T08:44:00.003-05:00

At a local restaurant in town called Blue Sky, my favorite boneless buffalo wings are there. Thai chili. Just the right amount of sweet and hot. It's perfection. For weeks now I've been craving these bad boys. On Monday we decided to attempt them ourselves. My expectations weren't high for a couple of reasons. 1) We don't own a deep fryer. 2) There are so many variations of recipes for "thai chili" sauce...how would I depict the correct or closest version? 3) I didn't have any chili peppers on hand so I was going to have to come up with substitutions.
Using two different recipes I found online (one for guidance preparing the chicken breasts and the other for guidance with creating the sauce), we were able to nail it. Possibly even better than Blue Sky's! (Not to toot my own horn....but they were pretty impressive.) My only regret is not taking a picture. (I need a photog in the kitchen with me at all times!)

Here is our modified recipe:

Boneless Wings
1 cup flour
1-2 teaspoons sea salt
1-2 teaspoons fresh cracked black pepper
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1 egg
1 cup milk (I used 2%)
oil for deep frying
2 skinless, boneless chicken breasts cut into strips (We cut each breast into 4 or 5 thick strips, at an angel so they were about equal in length. You could easily use 3 breasts. We had leftover flour and egg wash and ended up breading and frying sliced bread & butter pickles and baby dills which made for a tasty little snack.)

Combine flour, salt, black pepper, cayenne pepper, and garlic powder in a large bowl. Whisk together the egg and milk in a small bowl. Dip each piece of chicken in the egg mixture, and then roll in the flour blend. Repeat so that each piece of chicken is double coated. Refrigerate breaded chicken for 20 minutes.

Thai Chili Sauce (prepare while chicken is in fridge)
1 cup water
1 cup rice vinegar
1 cup sugar
1-2 teaspoons ground ginger
1-2 cloves minced garlic (fresh)
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper*
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes*
2 tablespoons (approx) ketchup
2 teaspoons cornstarch (I ended up adding more. Maybe twice that?)
*Obviously use less if you prefer mild. This amount was perfect for us, but we like things hot.

Combine water, vinegar & sugar in saucepan. Bring to boil. Reduce heat to simmer. Add ginger, garlic, cayenne pepper, red pepper flakes, and ketchup. Simmer for 5-10 minutes. Stir in corn starch. Remove from heat. Transfer to a bowl and refrigerate until needed. Sauce will be thin/runny.

Heat oil in large, deep saucepan (if you don't have a deep fryer) until 375 degrees. (Our stove maintained the correct temp. on the number 6 setting (out of 10).) Fry chicken in hot oil until exterior is nicely browned and juices run clear (approx. 5-6 minutes).

Let chicken cool on plate with paper towels for just a couple minutes. Heat a separate pan on stove over medium-low heat. Add about 1/2 cup of sauce at a time (per 4 pieces of chicken). Stir continuously. Sauce will thicken up over the heat as it bubbles. You don't want it to get too hot. It only takes a couple of minutes. When the sauce is thick enough toss the chicken in the sauce until its coated completely. Serve immediately.

The sauce makes about 2 cups. We only used about half of that. It can be stored in the fridge. We plan on using the remaining sauce for a stir fry, or a meat marinade. It would also make a great dipping sauce for egg rolls. I think I need to make a giant batch and bottle it! ;)

Back to the (b)asics...

2011-06-17T18:08:00.003-05:00

I wouldn't even call myself a runner. (Maybe someday I'll get there). My relationship with running has been nonexistant for nearly a year. Yes, I've ran two marathons. But in my entire adult life, I've ran for a total of 6 months. I had to literally learn how to run. Sounds crazy I know. But I just could not run for more than a few minutes without getting tired and needing to walk. A year and a half ago I started with an 8 week training program for beginner runners. It was a walk/run interval training that built up to eventually being able to run for 30 minutes without stopping. Would you believe that my first 8 weeks were harder than my 20 mile run or even the marathon itself??? Anyway, after my first marathon last year I signed up for another marathon 4 weeks later. Little did I know Stella got to come along for the ride of marathon number two. (Perhaps that had something to do with the fact that I wanted to puke for half the race). After that marathon I attempted a couple casual runs on the trail and then decided to take a break. For me, running while pregnant, even early on was exhausting. I had to run much slower (how much slower could I seriously get?) and needed breaks. I lost interest and was fine with putting away the running shoes for awhile. Now Stella is 3 months old and I am ready to get back on the horse! I've only ran a handful of times since her birth and let me tell you, I am back to square one. Maybe even negative square one. My first attempt was when she was 2 or 3 weeks old. It was tough. I tried again a few more times. My longest run since having Stella has been 2 miles. It's a start I suppose, but apparently running is NOT like riding a bike and I'm going to have to do some serious conditioning to get myself ready for my next race. But I am itching to start training for something. I've literally been having dreams lately about running marathons again. I've been reaseaching races for awhile now and I would LOVE to run the Oregon Wine Country Half . Anything involving wine sounds like a good time to me. I haven't officially signed up for any races yet. But on Monday I'm getting out my trusty old asics and going back to the basics (even though I know it's going to suck at first). I'm the type of person that needs a training schedule on paper in front of me, telling me what I need to do....otherwise I wont do it. But I am genuinely excited to start running again. I might be singing a different tune come Monday but hopefully that's not the case. Have a wonderful weekend!

It's a party!

2011-06-15T10:07:00.000-05:00

On Saturday we had Aubrey's birthday party with our families. I was really excited for her. Especially since she's at an age she can truly appreciate and enjoy the fun of it all. As of June, we've had a neighborhood street party and her cousin Julia's 1st birthday party. Aubrey had so much fun at both of these events and has quickly taken a liking to the term "party" She often talks about "party" and likes to play party by entertaining me with her creative imaginary culinary skills. Every time "birthday party" was mentioned to her, her response was always "cake". {I think she's caught on that party=cake}. Now she has been asking for "cuh-capes" daily since her party. She had a blast playing with her cousins and her brother "Mase" and spending time with her grandparents and aunts and uncles as well. It was a fun party!

We love you babers. Happy birthday!

A day at the ZOO

2011-06-14T17:49:00.000-05:00

Friday was Aubrey's 2nd birthday. She LOVES animals so we planned a trip to the zoo to celebrate her day. She was very excited to see the tigers, zebras, lions, giraffes, and monkeys.

The zoo has a little amusement park attached to it so we even got to go on a little train ride which she thoroughly enjoyed and did not want to get off the train. The first ride however, (pictured below) she did want off. It was just one of those quarter machine rides. She loved sitting in it but the second it started moving she was done and wanted out.

To be continued....

(Not for suspense reasons.....Finding time for blogging has become quite a challenge. if I don't post something it will never get posted. So it's a start at least! I have lots of catching up to do! More to come.)

tragic loss

2011-06-01T10:12:00.000-05:00

"A 31-year-old Crosslake woman was killed Thursday after trying to stop a pickup that her 2-year-old nephew was in, Crosslake Police Chief Bob Hartman said.

Hartman said the 2-year-old was playing inside the pickup, when the truck began rolling backwards downhill. The woman, who was at the scene, jumped onto the running board and was reaching inside the truck, attempting to put it into park when the truck side-swiped a large tree. The woman, who was standing on the running board, got caught between the truck and the tree.
Cardiopulmonary resuscitation was initiated by a witness, another passer-by and by the Crosslake first responders and North ambulance personnel. The woman was pronounced dead at the scene. The toddler was not injured." {taken from the Brainerd Dispatch}

It still doesn't seem real. How someone so young, beautiful, talented and loved could be taken in an instant. Suzy was the sister of one of my closest and dearest friends. She would have done anything for the people she loved. How her life ended was a true testimony to that. Her family has a long road ahead, of trying to figure out where to go from here and pick up the pieces and carry on. Please pray for peace, hope, comfort and healing for Suzy's family & many loved ones.

"Suzy will be remembered as a people person with a magnetic personality, if she met someone they were her friend. Her sparkling blue eyes and big smile were unforgettable. She was never one to judge others, and always saw the best in everyone. She gave so much of herself to those she loved, all you had to do was ask and Suzy was there. There are not enough words to describe the wonderful person she was, fun loving and morally solid at the same time. She will be missed by thousands; her leaving left a hole in so many lives."

We'll miss you Suzy. More than words can say.

the perfect card.

2011-05-14T23:06:00.001-05:00

I'm somewhat obsessed with cards. I use to stand in the card asile at Target for hours in search of "the perfect card." I once fantasized about having my own card line. I have a stock of cards on hand waiting to be used for the person I had in mind when I purchased the card. I love cards and the impact they can have on someone. Unexpectedly.

Today I received the best birthday cards ever.

from my husband:
"There are big days and small days, up days and down days, and some days so full of stuff we can barely tell what's going on. But big, small, up, down, or in between, we just keep doing our best, trying to be happy. And happy is what I'm hoping you'll be. Because no matter what's going on, your birthday is a big deal. I love you."

from my husband's grandparents:
"May your birthday bring what you've wanted...whatever you're hoping for, whatever you want to come true, whatever pleases you most...That's what I wish for you."

from my husband's parents:
"You're someone who's so generous, always giving of your many talents, but the nicest of all the gifts you give is the special time you take for family. Thank you for being such a caring daughter-in-law."

from my sister (and her family):
"You have a talent for making the simple things special...and for making the special things extraordinary."

from my kids:
"Life is a gift from God- and our best days are spent discovering the wonders of that miracle. Wishing you everything He has for you." (Love, Mason, Aubrey and Stella. They are my "Life" and my gift from God. How appropriate!)

from my parents:
"Parents do not realize when their daughter is a child how fleeting the moments truly are. And in the blink of and eye, the little girl who did pirouettes down the hall is dancing her way through her own life. What a joy it was then, what a joy it is now, what a joy it will always be- having you for a daughter."

The overall message and reminders from my cards I received today, are simple and clear. To enjoy life, and appreciate it every step of the way. Slow down, and enjoy what's right in front of me. Because it truly is a gift. I'm thankful to be reminded of that and hope to make that my focus every day for the rest of my life.

Dealing with colic

2011-05-04T15:38:00.000-05:00

Scenario: It's 11:00 pm. My husband is trying to sleep and I am tired and frustrated, unsuccessfully trying to soothe my crying baby. She's been fed, burped, changed, and given a dose of gas drops (which we started giving her occasionally after feedings Easter weekend). Nothing is working. I can't calm her down and I don't know what the problem is.

The usual tricks; holding her in the football hold, or facing outward swaying standing by the sink with running water, even my trusty Moby Wrap have failed to soothe her this time.

I have a fussy baby and have known this since about her third week of life. I've heard horror stories from several friends experiences with colicky babies (crying for 4 hours non-stop every single night for 4 months straight). Every time Stella is going through one of her fussy periods I think, "yes this is difficult and she's fussing and I don't know why, but she's not colicky because it isn't non-stop crying, it never lasts for 4 hours and it's not every night." I just thought she was fussier than a "normal" baby. But I definitely didn't think she was colicky.

During one of Stella's fussy episodes two nights ago, I pulled out a book "Your Baby's First Year Week by Week" and looked for anything that might help me figure out what was wrong with her. In a recent conversation about Stella with another mom, she asked if it might be acid reflux. Stella rarely spits up so its never occurred to me that acid reflux could be a possibility. But out of desperation I turned to the index, looked up acid reflux and thumbed my way to page 78 to learn more. What I found on page 78 was titled, "Dealing with Colic" and this is what it said:

   Colic is a condition in which a baby has lengthy episodes of sudden, loud crying and fussiness. About 20% of all infants experience colic, which usually appears about 2 weeks after birth and can last until baby is 3 or 4 months old.
   A colic attack often occurs at night and can last up to 4 hours. Baby may draw her knees up to her chest, pass gas, and flail her arms about. Her tummy muscles feel hard. An attack stops as suddenly as it starts. It may help you to know colic is not harmful to your baby.
   Although a great deal of research has been conducted on the cause of colic, there is little evidence as to why it occurs. Theories include:

immaturity of the baby's digestive system, also called gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD)
sensitivity to, or intolerance of, to cow's milk protein in formula or breast milk
fatigue in the infant
some foods a mother eats, if she breastfeeds

What You Can Do at Home.

Offer baby the breast or a bottle. (check)
If you bottlefeed, try noncow's-milk formula. Talk to your pediatrician before making any changes. (N/A)
Offer a pacifier to baby. (check)
Place baby across your knees on her stomach, and rub her back. (check)
Swaddle baby. (check)
Massage baby's tummy. (check)

A baby's incessant crying can cause parents a great deal of stress, so take care of yourselves. Take turns staying with baby during an attack. Ask a family member or friend to baby-sit for an evening. Take heart - colic will disappear soon.

As I was reading I was nodding my head thinking....okay this all sounds familiar. Maybe Stella is colicky. I just know that she is fussy and most of the time needs to be held. She's in the Moby Wrap and I'm standing up swaying as I type. Last night she was in it until after 1am. She pretty much lives in the wrap. When she falls asleep she usually wakes up if I try to lay her down. I might as well still be pregnant because I feel (and look) like she is still attached to me.

I've had a hunch that she has stomach issues. When she's fussing she often tenses up and her stomach feels hard. Which is why we've started using the gas drops. She has been spitting up lately too. My next step is to monitor everything I eat and keep track of how it effects her in hopes of pinpointing anything I could be eating that is upsetting to her.

If anyone has any other suggestions or advice (foods to avoid when breastfeeding, tricks to soothe a baby etc. ANYTHING) I'm more than happy to hear from you.

April was a whirwind of basically trying to get through each day. I am thankful that tax season is over and I have my husband back. I am also thankful last week was the end of my dance season (directing 240 dancers). It was tough having to "go back to work" right away and meet deadlines with a newborn and a toddler to take care of. The final week of dance was jam packed with an out of town performance, 2 extra practices, 2 dress rehearsals, and 2 shows- yes, all in one week. I feel like I am still buzzing from the craziness of it all. I constantly feel like I have an overload of demands and someone always is needing something from me. (I guess that's the definition of being a mom!) I am struggling with finding balance of my day-to-day responsibilities but pray a lot and have faith that I will get there.....Working from home and being a stay-at-home mom is HARD. But now that the busy-ness of tax season and dance season has come to an end I can hopefully figure out some normalcy or routine. I am also thankful winter is over and summer is just around the corner! We've definitely been enjoying spending time outside for a change.

When she's not fussing, Stella really is a sweet baby. In the last couple weeks she been smiling so much. Especially in the mornings right after she eats and she is wide awake. I'll feed her and then hold her and talk to her. She smiles back and makes noises and "o" shapes with her mouth and sticks out her tongue and scrunches up her nose. Her sweet face is a wonderful way to start the day. And helps me forget about the struggle I went through the night before! :) Here are a couple pics I took with my phone. (I couldn't quite get the full open smile with her wrinkled nose on camera but it's close.)

Aubrey loves her little "Stellie" and always wants to hold her "Holdie? Holdie." she asks with arms reaching for her. She actually does a pretty good job. BFF's in the making. :)

Best. (Baby-related) Purchase. Ever.

2011-04-09T14:48:00.000-05:00

We've been so fortunate to have lots of things given to us by our siblings who are done having kids or borrowed to us by those who aren't sure. ;) Pack-n-play, basinet, high chair, booster chair, baby bathtub, baby bjorn, baby swing, chair, bouncer thing TONS of toys and clothes.....the list goes on. I feel like we hardly had to buy anything when we were pregnant with Aubrey. We splurged on a crib & rocking chair for the nursery being that we didn't have to buy much of anything and well, I wanted something new that was 1) attractive and 2) going to last through however many kids we end up having.

Considering we haven't had to spend a gazillion dollars on baby gear it makes it easier to buy things I feel like I need without too much hesitation. I bought the Moby Wrap online about 2 minutes after posting this. There's no guarantee that babies are going to like whatever baby gadget you buy so I was a little concerned it would be a waste of money. But I got some good feedback from other moms and that was all I needed to hear! When it arrived I immediately tried it out. Stella cried and wasn't having it. So I tried a different style hold the next day and it was magical. I'm in love. It's comfortable, easy to wear and best of all she seems to really be comfortable and love it too. I can wear it for hours without my back hurting. And I can use my arms again! ;) I can play with Aubrey, do housework, dress/change Aubrey, prepare meals, do dishes, laundry etc. I can even sit down and blog without Stella waking up or getting upset. I'm a big fan and have pretty much worn it every day. I seriously don't know what I would do without it. Thank you for the feedback to those of you who had good things to say about it!

Spring shoes & delish pizza

2011-04-07T14:47:00.000-05:00

Just a fun little post to share a story that made my day and a delicious new recipe.

Yesterday my husband and I had a funeral to go to. We stopped at my sister-in-laws daycare to drop off Aubrey and the first thing a 3 year old girl said to me was "Whoa! Where did you get those shoes?!?!" Pretty sure that made my day. Love a girl who's as excited about my shoes as I am! :)

Last night I decided we needed to use up some veggies and chicken we had in our fridge. I found a premade pizza crust in our freezer and decided a chicken & veggie pizza with a garlic cream sauce might be the ticket. I'm not one to ever follow recipes 100%. I like to use them as a guide or get some inspiration and then do my own thing. I also had the help of Trav and my friend Jen for suggestions and assembling. (Stella was preventing me from finishing). The end result was delicious!

Chicken Veggie Pizza

Rub for the crust:
2 T butter
2 cloves garlic
1 T dried basil
2 T minced onion

Melt butter in saucepan over med. low heat. Add minced garlic, basil, and onion. Remove from heat after a few minutes. Transfer to small bowl, place in fridge to cool or let sit at room temp.

Sauce:
1 cup whole milk
2 T butter
2 T flour
cayenne pepper (1/4 t. approx depending on how much heat you like)
sea salt
fresh cracked pepper

Heat milk in saucepan over med high heat until just barely simmering. In separate pan melt butter. Add flour. Whisk to keep smooth. Add milk, cayenne, salt & pepper. Transfer into a small bowl and let cool.

Toppings: (can use just about anything. the following is what I found in my fridge)
sliced fresh mushrooms
sliced red pepper
leftover chicken breast (approx. 4 oz) shredded or cut into strips with kitchen shears
halved and sliced zucchini (I sauteed the zuc in olive oil and sprinkled them with salt and pepper)
mozzarella cheese

Use a premade crust. Drizzle with olive oil. Brush with butter/herb mixture. Spread white sauce over crust. Sprinkle mozz cheese over sauce. Add your toppings. Make it pretty. :) Cook according to directions on pizza crust (10 min. at 450 degrees). Enjoy!

I need my arms back

2011-03-31T17:07:00.000-05:00

After 19 days of continuous holding I guess I shouldn't be surprised that little miss Stella doesn't like to be put down. Wasn't a problem when my mom was here for 2 weeks, but now that I'm on my own I am discovering how difficult it is to do everything one-handed. Today especially she insisted on being held. Even when she was sleeping. I made several attempts to lay her down and every time within 30 seconds she would be awake again and fussing. I was amazed with how she would instantly fall back asleep in my arms when I would pick her back up. The simplest task, for example getting Aubrey dressed, now takes a ridiculous amount of time. I'm in need of a wrap or sling or something. I have one of these (Baby Bjorn)...

...and I've attempted to use it several times but she's not a huge fan. However, I used it the other day when I was walking on the treadmill and she didn't mind that. I think the combination of the steady movement and the noise of the treadmill put her to sleep. But for wearing around the house she doesn't last very long. With Aubrey she seemed to enjoy it more when she was a little older and could face outward. When they are still newborns I feel like they still want to be all curled up. Which is why I'm considering one of these...

There are so many different styles and brands...if anyone has suggestions I would love to hear from you! The one in the picture is called a Moby Wrap which is what I am leaning towards. I could even get one in camo so Trav could wear it too!

LOL. Just kidding here. Nothing against Dad's wearing baby carriers, I just know my husband and know he would never wear one. No even in the privacy of our own home. Not even if it was camo. Not a chance.

Melt. My. Heart.

2011-03-30T11:18:00.000-05:00

On Sunday afternoon my photographer friend, Stef traveled over two hours to our home to take newborn pics of little miss Stella. She sent me a couple photos today and tears filled my eyes. Hormones? Perhaps. But more importantly just a feeling of being overwhelmed with happiness. There have been so many times during these first 2 weeks of her life that I just wish I could freeze time and keep her tiny. I love love love having a newborn. The little noises she makes and expressions. Too cute for words. I could literally hold her and stare at her all day long. She's changing every day (she's already in size 1 diapers- no longer the teeny tiny newborn diapers...) and soon I will be looking at these pictures saying "I can't believe how tiny she was."

"All that's wonderful in the world....in one sweet little face."

Thanks Stef for taking such great photos!

Just us girls

2011-03-21T11:00:00.001-05:00

Today is my first day alone with the girls. We're all snuggled up cozy in my bed. Aubrey is watching Hello Kitty and Stella is sound asleep. Mommy has a moment to re-enter the blog world and share a couple stories and pics.

My mom has been staying with us for the last week. And my dad has been here off and on. She's been a huge help with entertaining Aubrey and caring for her while I adjust to newborn hours (aka no sleep) and taking care of baby Stella. Travis is still busy with tax season (which can not end soon enough) so he is gone before any of us are awake and home late at night and works every day except Sunday. My parents left early yesterday morning to give us time alone. We had our first outing together and attended church yesterday which was a success (even though we were 15 minutes late....). My mom asked me if she should get up early and be here when the girls wake up or what I wanted her to do. I decided it would be good for me to try it on my own for part at least part of the day.

Things started out great. Stella was up before Aubrey and I had a chance to feed her and get her changed. Aubrey woke up just minutes after getting Stella taken care of. Aubrey was happy to see me. We got her changed and some breakfast and then climbed into my bed next to Stella and turned on cartoons. At 9:00 the channel automatically changes to record Ellen. I didn't have the DVD player remote handy and was nursing Stella. Aubrey quickly lost interest, climbed down from the bed and left the room. I could hear her in the kitchen rummaging around. She entered the room several different times holding a box of cereal or crackers and each time I would ask her to put it back. This went on for at least 10 minutes until she entered the room proudly holding a king size Hershey's chocolate bar that she had unwrapped and already had taken plenty of chomps out of it. She looked at me a little nervous and then flashed me a big squinty smile. I tried my best not to laugh and put Stella down to go get the camera.

Thankfully it was just chocolate she got into and the only mess was on her hands and face! :)

Introducing...

2011-03-18T10:46:00.000-05:00

My baby sister Stella.

Born Saturday March 12, 2011

5:19 am

8 lbs. 12 oz.

21 inches

"He has made everything beautiful in its time." Ecclesiastes 3:11

More pictures and stories coming soon. Just enjoying lots of snuggling with my new little baby girl. Grandma Sue is here to help with Aubrey who is adjusting wonderfully. We're loving our new little family. Things are going really well. I couldn't feel more blessed. God is good. :)

39 1/2 weeks

2011-03-10T08:25:00.001-06:00

Best moment of the week? Lots of great moments for sure. One that sticks out the most is at MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) on Tuesday they closed in a prayer for me, my baby and labor/delivery. I was very touched. It meant a lot to me to be surrounded by that kind of support.

How big is baby? I'm going to guess somewhere between 8-9 lbs.

Sleep? Still super uncomfortable.

Cravings? Labor. Is that weird? If anyone has ideas or suggestions to get things moving send them my way! :)

Movement? Definitely have a kick boxer. Trav was shocked last night with the amount of movement this little guy/girl was making. I told him it's like that every day. Seriously it's crazy. And his comment was, "That's a big kid" (because my stomach was being kicked and stretched in all different directions).

Symptoms? Just the usual. Maybe a few contractions here and there. Nothing major yet.

Gender? Boy? Girl? I have no idea. Just really, really excited to find out and meet this little baby.

What I'm looking forward to? So many things. My labor to start. Meeting baby. Deciding on a name. Making the announcement to everyone. Seeing Aubrey meet baby. I could go on and on. Just looking forward to it all!

Weekly Wisdom: Last week was a great week for me in preparing to give birth again. I finally came to terms with my fears and realized I'm the one who is giving birth therefore I'm the one who needs to be comfortable with my choices. I had many great discussions with other moms and their experiences giving birth. I also got in touch with a doula (referred to me by one of my MOPS friends). And had a great conversation with my doctor and feel like we're back on track and she's supportive of my choices. I think finally opening up and being honest about my anxiety helped me resolve it. (Nothing like waiting until the last minute.)

Milestones: Hiring a doula.

Emotions: Prepared. Excited. Calm.

Chocolate, anyone?

2011-03-05T17:08:00.000-06:00

Thin Mints. Delightfully satisfying treat (even moreso when kept in the freezer). Caramel Delites. Amazing little devils that never seem to let your sweet tooth down. Shortbread cookies. Stop the bus. Not sure what I was thinking buying plain old shortbread Girl Scout cookies. Maybe "hmmmm which box haven't I bought yet?" Turns out cookies made of butter, sugar & flour alone are well, not good. So I decided to chocolate them up a bit using the same concept from when I made chocolate covered strawberries for Valentine's day.

So easy. So good.

Super Easy Chocolate Sauce
Melt chocolate chips in glass bowl in microwave (1/2 cup about 30 seconds)
stir
add a little half & half mix well (this makes the chocolate super shiny and melty)
may need to heat for an additional 10-30 seconds
Use for dipping or spreading on anything you want!

I might just be adding chocolate to everything from now on!

Sneak Peak

2011-03-04T22:48:00.000-06:00

Things are going well. Last weekend I was super busy with dance practices (thanks to snow days/canceled classes) and shows on both Saturday & Sunday. (There were times I thought I might go into labor running around like a a crazy person at my dance shows). But I managed to get Mason's room packed up and moved downstairs (which also made me feel like I was going to go into labor!) My parents came on Saturday to watch Aubrey and my dad got the wallpaper put up in Aubrey's room. YAY!

{Before wallpaper}

{After}

On my way home from dance I picked up paint samples and decided on "Sour Apple".

My parents came here again on Tuesday to watch Aubrey. They live over 2 hours away but are the best parents ever and always are willing to come when I need them! My mom did laundry & entertained Aubrey while I was at dance. My dad brought my antique bed to a local furniture refinisher to have it stripped.

Last night my wonderful Mother-in-law came over while I was teaching dance and started painting Aubrey's room. She came over again this afternoon to pick up where she left off. So exciting!

{Not the best picture but tried to show the detail of the wall with the damask wallpaper}

Hoping Trav can get going on the dresser this weekend. My lovely flower knobs arrived and I couldn't be happier with them. And they match the paint I chose perfectly.

It's all coming together thanks to our wonderful parents!

Items remaining on my checklist...
~~1. Go through boxes of Aubrey's baby clothes and find boy/girl take home clothes for LT.~~
2. Purchase "new mom" essentials. (Nursing pads & all the other fun things to pack for the hospital)
3. Pack my hospital bag (in progress)
~~4. Move Mason into his new room~~
~~5. order wallpaper for Aubrey's room~~
6. ~~Wallpaper~~ & paint Aubrey's new room (in progress)
7. Refinish Aubrey's bedroom furniture (antique bed & dresser, bookshelf)
8. order custom mattress for the antique bed
~~9. order bedding for Aubrey's room~~
~~10. order curtains for Aubrey's room~~
11. Set up bassinet in our bedroom ~~(and move our furniture to make room)~~
~~12. Finish my book~~
13. Print my birth plan & pack in hospital bag
~~14. Get my music/sound systems for dance figured out for my maternity staff~~
15. Get a pedicure or one last prenatal massage (scheduled for next week!)
~~16. Order knobs for Aubrey's dresser~~
17. Choose & order chandelier/light fixture to match room

Shouldn't be long now!

38 weeks

2011-03-01T19:45:00.000-06:00

Best moment of the week? When Aubrey's bedding came and we were unpacking it she lit up like it was Christmas morning. It was the sweetest thing. She was so excited about everything. She was hugging her new pillows carrying them around saying "nigh-nigh" and she wanted to just lay right down on them.

How big is baby? 6 pounds 13 ounces, 19.5 inches. According to babyzone.com

Sleep? Not great. (Mainly just really, really, uncomfortable.)

Cravings? Clothes that make me look and feel great! I'm so over my wardrobe choices. Ugh. And yoga & running. I must have spring fever too because I am itching to get out and get active.

Movement? Lots of movement. Still loving that!

Symptoms? I've started feeling contractions. Mainly when I'm doing strenuous activities (such as hauling boxes up and down the stairs). I don't recall ever feeling this "nesting" behavior when I was pregnant with Aubrey, but I can't stop with all the stuff I'm feeling the need to do.

Gender? Still picturing a boy.

What I'm looking forward to? Tax season being over and having my husband back. (I'm keeping my answer from last week). You would think at 38 weeks I would be sick and tired of being pregnant (I'm not saying I'm not) but between tax season and my pregnancy I am over tax season to the max. I still have some tolerance left in me with this pregnancy.

Weekly Wisdom: "Giving birth is a huge deal." (thank you Rena!) :)

Milestones: It's March! Happy new baby month!

Emotions: Anxious.

Aubrey's Birth Story Part 3

2011-02-25T17:15:00.003-06:00

Here it is. The final part of Aubrey's birth story.

{click here for Part 1}
{click here for Part 2}

It was now right around 7:00pm. I had been pushing for about 3 hours. They still refused to let me out of the bed. Even though that was all I wanted. It was probably my body telling me to MOVE to any other position to get gravity to help move the baby down past my pelvis into the birth canal. Obviously laying on my back with my legs in the air for 3 hours was not helping move my nearly 10 pound baby to where she needed to be. We had tried the "acceptable" positions- on all 4s, the squat bar, laying on my side etc. But I was too exhausted to hold myself up in any of these ridiculous positions (not to mention getting tangled in all the cords every time I moved). I just wanted all the cords off my body. And I wanted all the people in the room to stop entering and exiting as they please. I could hear nurses and hospital visitors in the hall walking by. All of these things were annoying to me. My nurses were in between shifts so there were 3 or more in our room coming and going along with my doctor and the OB. It felt like there were 17 people in the room and I hated it.

I was completely exhausted and even worse I felt defeated. At some point during all this they talked me into having an internal fetal monitor (a probe they screw into the baby's head) even though I didn't want it. It felt like everything was getting out of hand and I was agreeing to things because I didn't know what else to do. (Like when you are arguing with your husband and you just say "FINE" even though you really aren't fine. You know what I'm talking about? That became me in the hospital room to the medical staff). They wanted me to surrender to the c-section and for a split second it crossed my mind as my way out because I could stop trying and it would be over. I didn't want to give up. I just didn't know how I was going to do this any longer. I remember saying something to Trav about me not being able to do this any more. He squeezed my hand, looked me in the eye and said, "you are doing this." He was so great. So calm. So reassuring.

They were concerned with the baby's heart rate going up and down and they weren't willing to let this go on much longer. It was decided by the OB that they were either going to use a vacuum extractor to try to get the baby out or a C-Section. That was it. Those were my options. So I said "FINE" to the vacuum. With the vacuum comes the joys of a catheter and an episiotmy. I don't recall if the OB asked me or told me she was cutting an episiotomy. Either way I felt like I didn't have a choice in the matter. For 45 minutes the OB torked on our baby. (I use the term "tork" because Travis later told me he couldn't believe how hard they were pulling on our baby). During this whole process I was literally fading in and out of consciousness. I was so exhausted that I don't even remember the break periods between pushing. I just dropped my head back and what felt like one second later they would tell me to push again. Finally at 7:44pm Aubrey was born! I'll never forget hearing Travis say "It's a girl!" Before I got to hold her they weighed her and my doctor said, "You were right, you did have a big baby." And announced she weighed 9 lbs. 9 oz. The best feeling in the world was when they placed her on my chest and she looked up at me. And I will never, ever forget that moment and everything I felt. Amazing. Absolutely amazing. Even now when I think about the miracle of life it brings tears to my eyes. There's nothing like it.

1 day old

11 days old

In the end the most important thing is that we had a healthy baby. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't traumatized from my experience with giving birth. Throughout my pregnancy with Aubrey, I thought the only choice I needed to make was drugs or no drugs. I felt strongly about having a "natural" childbirth and didn't feel the need for any drugs or unnecessary interventions. I didn't want to impose any side effects or risks on my baby. I also felt confident that my body was made to give birth. And while I was able to give birth without drugs, nothing about Aubrey's birth felt "natural". I've spent a lot of time thinking about this next birth. I had never considered giving birth anywhere other than a hospital before Aubrey's birth. And quite frankly I don't think I would be giving birth in a hospital this time if I had another option that my husband was comfortable with. (Couldn't quite get him on board with a home birth and we don't have a birth center in our area, so hospital it is.) I thought about my "birth plan" with Aubrey but never put anything in writing. I know it's foolish to think things are going to go according to a piece of paper. I just feel better having it in writing so the nurses can hopefully get me. I'm fully aware I'm in the minority with my thoughts on giving birth and most of the medical staff is going to think I'm ridiculous. (Which is why I wish I had the option of giving birth at a birth center with a midwife). I've opened my eyes to some options and will be voicing my opinion a little louder this time (backed by research vs. instinct alone.)

Regardless of my new outlook and ideas it doesn't take away the anxiety. I'm confident with my choices (to go without and IV & pain medication, to listen to my body, move around as much as I want, refuse coached pushing, refuse pretty much all the things they consider "normal") what worries me is the medical staff and the people around me (with the exception of my husband). I still lose sleep thinking about what's going to happen this time. At my last appointment my doctor lectured me about the risks of choosing not to have an IV and basically told me how dangerous that is and I could bleed to death. Why the scare tactics people? I'm not a high-risk pregnancy. Why can't I choose to give birth the way I want without feeling anxiety and pressure from the people around me? I don't understand the medical world. Childbirth is a natural thing. I just want everyone who is going to be around me on the day I give birth to understand that and provide me with the patience and reassurance I need. Not the wires, technology, operating tools, IVs and drugs that I don't need. Is that too much to ask? I guess we'll find out in 17 days or so. Wish me luck.

Standing still

2011-02-23T15:39:00.000-06:00

My childhood dresser has been sitting in our garage for months. Waiting. My plans are to ~~repainted it~~ have my husband repaint it white and replace the hardware. The dresser belonged to my mom, and before it was hers it belonged to her mother. I'm so happy Aubrey gets to have it passed onto her. It's important to me to preserve it's vintage charm but I think I'm ready to part with the hardware. I've been searching for glass knobs with antique character, and my goal is to create a cohesive look that fits nicely with the colors I've chosen for the rest of Aubrey's new room. Here are some of my top pics. Opinions welcomed!

{all knobs found at Anthropologie}

Aged Zinnia Knob


Faceted Glass Knob in pink


Granita Knob


Ceramic Melon Knob in Lime


Venetian Flower Knob in Pink

They are all so different. I think I need to see them up close in person, and maybe even on the dresser in order to make an informed decision. I can't decide if this something I should wait and do at the end? Like the icing on the cake? When her room is completely finished? Or should I go ahead and order a variety of knobs, choose my favorite, send back the others and be done with it? What is the best way to go about this? What would you do?

Baby Checklist

2011-02-22T14:15:00.002-06:00

I have lots to do before this baby arrives. But I work best under pressure and it's very normal for me to wait until the last minute. :) Here's my checklist of "things to do before baby arrives". I started it last week and have since been able to cross of a few. Being that we don't know if our baby is a boy or girl, we're holding off on redecorating the nursery (but I do have ideas & color themes for both boy & girl that I'm excited about). Travis has completed his project of finishing Mason's new room so now I need to get going on mine. My main project is transitioning Aubrey into her "big-girl room". I'm hoping she will be excited about it and not feel like she's getting kicked out of her room when baby comes. I know I'm excited about her new room so if she doesn't love it I just might be the one moving in there! :)

~~1. Go through boxes of Aubrey's baby clothes and find boy/girl take home clothes for LT.~~
2. Purchase "new mom" essentials. (Nursing pads & all the other fun things to pack for the hospital)
3. Pack my hospital bag
4. Move Mason into his new room
~~5. order wallpaper for Aubrey's room~~
6. Wallpaper & paint Aubrey's new room
7. Ask Trav nicely to refinish Aubrey's bedroom furniture (antique bed & dresser, bookshelf)
8. order mattress for the antique bed (it's a crazy 3/4 size bed- in between a twin and a full so will need to have one custom made)
~~9. order bedding for Aubrey's room~~

colors for Aubrey's new room

~~10. order curtains for Aubrey's room~~
11. Set up bassinet in our bedroom (and move our furniture to make room)
~~12. Finish my book~~
13. Print my birth plan & pack in hospital bag
~~14. Get my music/sound systems for dance figured out for my maternity staff~~
15. Get a pedicure or one last prenatal massage

I think if I get these things completed I will be ready! :) (Laugh out loud, you can. Ready or not the baby is going to come, right?)

37 weeks

2011-02-21T10:13:00.003-06:00

Best moment of the week? Being with family all weekend.

How big is baby? 6 1/3 pounds and a little over 19 inches. According to babycenter.com

Sleep? Not good. I feel completely exhausted all the time due to the lack of sleep I'm getting at night.

Cravings? Nothing (believe it or not.)

Movement? Lots. This weekend we had a family get together and from across the room my dad pointed to me and said "that kid is really moving!"

Symptoms? Lots. On top of my usual list, this weekend I noticed lots of swelling in my hands & feet/legs...dang. I'm just hoping it doesn't get worse!

Gender? Last night I had Mason hold up the little newborn boy & girl outfits for Aubrey to guess. She pointed to the boy outfit and said "girl" so we're not entirely sure what her guess is. Mason is guessing boy. Travis is guessing girl. I think I'm still guessing boy. We'll find out soon! :)

What I'm looking forward to? Tax season being over and having my husband back.

Weekly Wisdom: I found this on one of the baby websites and it made me laugh: "Let's face it, there's nothing particularly thrilling about having to roll out of bed sideways, groan every time you stand up, and pee 20 times a day. It's enough to wipe the rosy glow from even the most excited mom-to-be."

Milestones: Went to the Doctor last week and will now be going every week until the end.

Emotions: Emotional. (I've been crying a lot lately.)

Aubrey's Birth Story Part 2

2011-02-18T08:13:00.007-06:00

{click here for Part 1}

On the way to the hospital I tried to tell myself I was only going to be 3cm so I wouldn't be disappointed if I got sent home. I also remember confessing my fears to Trav on the car ride to the hospital. It went something like this;

me: "I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do this....."

Trav: "What do you mean?"

me: "Last night was hard. There were times the contractions hurt so bad. I just think this is going to be a lot harder than I thought. I know I said I was going to do this without drugs. And I'm going to. I just don't know how I'm going to...." {I'm pretty strong-willed, so I have a tendency to follow through when I commit to something. No matter what. He and I both knew I was not going to give in to an epidural or pain medication of any sort but I just started questioning my inner strength and needed to let him know.}

We arrived at the hospital around 10:30-11:00am. I was dilated 6cm (I think Trav and I high-fived, not really, but I wanted to) because it meant we were staying to have our baby. We were excited. It was real now. When we got settled into our hospital room the nurse asked me to look at a chart with smiley faces on it (and some not so smiley faces) to indicate my level of pain I was experiencing on a scale from 1 to 10. I don't remember my answer (I think I said 5 or 6) but my reasoning was "because I know it's going to get a lot worse." She responded, "That's good. You have realistic expectations."

She then started to hook up a fetal heart rate monitor (big uncomfortable strap around my contracting stomach), and I asked her if that was necessary. Actually what I said was, "Do I have to have this on me?" And she responded, "Yes." And then left the room.

So there I sat. In bed. Unable to move around. Because apparently I had to be strapped in and hooked up to a machine. They also stuck me with an IV and to administer antibiotics because I tested positive for Strep B. And because my doctor felt strongly I have the routine IV "just in case they needed to use it." Travis went and got our bags and then we attempted to play cribbage and watch Friends (just a few distractions for me) although I stopped to do my focused breathing at each contraction. At home the last thing I could do during my contractions was sit still (I kept pacing around, changing positions, listening to my body, trying to get comfortable) and now I was being forced to sit still. So I breathed through each one like it was my job. The nurse came into the room to check up on me from time to time to make sure I was fine, but for the most part it was just Travis and myself hanging out. Waiting. Eventually I asked if I could be unhooked from everything so I could move around. The nurse asked me "why?" and I guess I didn't have a good enough reason to (I just felt like it) so I was turned down and told it's best if I stay in bed.

So there I sat. About 2 hours later my doctor arrived and checked me. I was dilated 7cm. She broke my water to "get things moving along". Contractions intensified (now fluid leaking from me onto a massive bed-sized pad) but there I sat. Like a good little patient. Carrying on with my focused breathing. This went on for several hours and it wasn't until around 4pm that they told me I was "close enough to a 10 that I could start pushing". What does that even mean? My senses were fully aware and capable so I'm pretty sure I should be the one indicating if I need to start pushing or not right? (Hind sight is always 20/20). At the time I had no clue what I was doing and didn't know why they would tell me to push if I shouldn't. (And I thought to myself, "Sweet, I'm going to have my baby in time for supper. I am starving and cannot wait for the sandwich I've craved my entire pregnancy, the Narmer from Erbert's & Gerbert's." After going 9 months without deli meat, I had dreams about that sandwich and knew it would be the first thing I would be eating post-pregnancy.) So I went ahead with their advice. I started pushing like they suggested. And let me tell you it was hell. An hour of pushing went by. Nothing. Zero progress. (And it felt ridiculous. Having a stranger chanting next to me, holding my legs up by my head, laying on my back....it was all not what I expected. Except for the exhausting part). I couldn't help but notice the clock on the wall and realized how much time had elapsed. I thought to myself, "I have got to be getting close". To my surprise you can work as hard as you possibly can for an hour and make zero progress. The baby had not moved at all. Was not getting any closer. My efforts were wasted. But wait, it gets better. I pushed for another hour (harder than I ever thought I could) and am told the same exact thing. The baby had not moved. At all.

"Why isn't this working?!?!" No one answered me. Instead I start hearing talk of c-section. My doctor begins explaining that she's contacting an OB (my doctor is family practice) to have me assessed to see if I need a c-section. You have got to be kidding me. I don't know whether to scream or cry but I am frustrated beyond belief. I turned to Trav with tears in my eyes and asked him to call my mom. No one knew we had checked into the hospital. I wanted to wait and make our calls after the baby was born. But now I gave him specific instructions to call my mom and ask her to start praying. She then called her bible study group of friends and they all prayed for me. At this point I was faced with the alternative to not being able to push this baby out on my own. The last thing I wanted was surgery.

So I begin asking the assisting nurses if I can get out of bed (sit in a chair, in the tub, on the toilet, on the birthing ball, ANYWHERE but the damn bed. CLEARLY it was not working for me.....) but again I am turned down. I am told, "It's too late for all those things." They gave me some suggestions of positions I could try on the bed. I'm not going to go into detail but lets just say that all of the positions were more ridiculous than my requests to get out of bed and all the positions required strength & holding myself up (while maneuvering the multiple cords hanging off of me). I tried every position they suggested and it was not easy. I was completely spent. I hadn't slept in over 36 hours. I hadn't eaten for over 24 hours. And I just spent the last 2 hours exhausting every last ounce of energy I had left (and making zero progress). It was like someone stuck me on a treadmill to run on incline for 2 hours, faster and harder than I ever have (with 60 pounds of extra weight attached to me and no food or sleep) before running a marathon. It wasn't looking good.

{part 3 coming soon...}

Winter Fun!

2011-02-17T13:14:00.000-06:00

The weather has been so nice this week Aubrey and I finally had a chance to play outside yesterday. She LOVED building our "noman" and was pretty sad leaving it outside. She also enjoyed eating snow (what kid doesn't?) and "pat pat"-ing patches of snow on our friend.

Yesterday morning we saw three deer run through our backyard, one stopped long enough for us Aubrey to see it. She was pretty excited about it. Thankfully she didn't point and make her usual gunshot sound and she just kept saying "DEER". And then fake cried when they left our yard and whined for the deer to return.

We have a book called "Winter Friends" with a snowman and deer and squirrels that come to eat (share) the snowman treats (carrot nose, nuts and seeds for eyes and mouth) so we were hoping to get the deer back to our yard with the help of our "noman no" (snowman's nose). But unfortunately our new friend didn't stay long. The trade-off for a beautiful day I guess! Noman was tipped over "sleeping" when Aubrey woke up from her nap. At least we got to enjoy our friend for a little while! :)

36 weeks

2011-02-16T10:16:00.001-06:00

Best moment of the week? Valentine's Day was pretty great! Lots of "best moments". Also, yesterday I was in the kitchen and Aubrey entered the room with her glow worm (that looks like a baby). She was calling it "baby" and had it cradled in her arms swaying side to side and giving it kisses. So sweet! That was a pretty great moment. :)

How big is baby? 6 pounds and 18 inches. According to babyzone.com

Sleep? The sleep part is actually going better....must be that I'm so tired. Getting out of bed still hurts. And if/when I wake up I'm usually sore and uncomfortable.

Cravings? The weather has been so nice! I'm craving a run outside actually....but that's not going to happen anytime soon.

Movement? Lots of action.

Symptoms? My latest: Crazy dreams & "nesting" behavior.

Gender? I can't decide what I think anymore. Think I'm gonna stick with my first initial thoughts and guess boy.

What I'm looking forward to? Walking normal (not waddling...which is how I feel I've been walking lately....my hips, pelvis, groin are killing me....)

Weekly Wisdom: From Ina May's Guide To Childbirth: "Spend your pregnancy loving your uterus and your baby. I mean this literally. Positive energy makes a good birth outcome more likely, so go for it."

Milestones: Found my baby boy and baby girl take home outfits to bring to the hospital. Yay! Went through 9 boxes of Aubrey's baby clothes. Also pulled out all the white newborn onesies and gender neutral sleepers....baby clothes are so precious. I actually teared up a little going through her tiny little clothes.

Emotions: Grateful. Happy. Excited. Loved. Spent.

{one month to go!}

Who knew?

2011-02-15T10:09:00.001-06:00

I love February 14th because it's the day I met my husband. 10 years ago. Last night we talked about that and how we couldn't believe it had been 10 years since we first met. Travis said, "Who knew that was going to be the night I'd meet my wife."

Life is pretty great. Yesterday was just another day, but it was a great day to reflect on how far we've come. And how much we have to celebrate & be grateful for. To me, that's what Valentine's day is about. And an excuse to make people we love feel extra-loved. :)

I started out the morning by making Aubrey a special breakfast. {If Travis didn't have to leave for work so early he would have gotten one too}. A heart shaped french toast sandwich filled with strawberry jam, cream cheese & white chocolate & chocolate chips, topped with real whipped cream and berries. Pretty sure she was more excited about her big girl cup with chocolate milk and ice cubes- yes we are a family that love ice cubes in our milk! :) So she decided to share the french toast with her little brother/sister and wanted frosted mini wheats instead. She did however enjoy the sausage that she one handedly ate like a stick of beef jerky. She's my little lady. :)

{Puppy shaped cookie from Dadddy}

My friend Jen stopped by for a visit and we enjoyed her company and Aubrey always loves playing with Auntie Jen's phone, purse, planner and anything else she can get her hands on.

Grandma Kathy came over {as she does on Mondays during tax season to take care of Aubrey} and brought Aubrey a special Valentine's book which she loves. Grandpa stopped by to play too and I'm sure Aubrey was very excited to get to spend some quality time with them both!

I headed off to teach dance and returned around 8:45pm to my smiley girl who greeted me with a great big hug {I asked Trav to keep her up so I could put her to bed}. Travis was busy in the kitchen so Aubrey and I went to read books and I put her to bed.

We had a wonderful dinner. Crab legs, baby reds, green beans, hearty multigrain bread, and even a little red wine. {I only had a few sips...but it was good!} Everything was perfect. Not because it was so delicious- that's a bonus, but perfect that we actually got to sit down and enjoy a meal together with good conversation. {Having dinner together is a rarity this time of year for us}.

On my plate was a sweet card from my husband and a special picture Aubrey colored for just for me. {Nice work daddy! It was the sweetest thing...almost made me cry}. I also received a gift card for a massage {I think I heard angels sing when I opened it} and a box of chocolate truffles.

I honestly never expect "gifts". My husband knows when he does the dishes or cleans the floors it's better than buying me flowers. We are pretty unconventional with our gift giving. We discussed dinner so I knew that was our plan. But I really was surprised by the massage and chocolates. One year {when I was pregnant with Aubrey} he brought me a Choco Cherry Love blizzard (my obsession at the time) and said, "I was gonna get you flowers but thought you would enjoy this more." It was probably the best Valentine's gift I had ever received. He gets me. {I was slightly addicted to ice cream throughout my pregnancy with Aubrey}. When he surprised me with the blizzard I was literally standing in front of the freezer searching for ice cream. It was perfect.

I've always loved Valentine's Day, but who knew it was going to be the day I'd meet my husband? :) And now every year is a reminder for us of that.

Hope you had yourself a Happy Valentine's Day as well! XOXO

Project 52: Week 6

2011-02-13T21:10:00.002-06:00

Aubrey's Birth Story Part 1

2011-02-11T16:34:00.004-06:00

I've spent a good amount of time the last 30-some weeks reflecting on my first experience giving birth. That experience left me with anxiety and concerns with how things would go this time. Researching better ways to have a "natural" childbirth became a remedy for clarity during this pregnancy. My first experience wasn't terrible. It just wasn't what I expected. At all.

{Reflections from my journal}

Aubrey's birth story:
Due Date: Friday, June 12th, 2009
It started on Tuesday, June 9th.
I had my appointment with my doctor that morning. I was dilated 1 or 2 cm and effaced only a small percentage. She asked if I wanted to have my membranes stripped. I didn't know what that meant but she explained there was a chance it would "get things moving". {My mom & sister both were way overdue with their first babies so I was convinced I was going to be 2 weeks late with mine.} Skeptical, but feeling like "why not?" I decided to go ahead with it. She warned me that sometimes it works, sometimes it does nothing. She also said it helps to stay busy and keep moving. I thought I would give it my best shot so I went home and walked 2 miles on my treadmill. After my walk I met up with a friend to keep moving. We walked around the mall and Target for hours and every now and then I felt my stomach tighten. I had Joanna touch my rock hard stomach and ask her if that was a contraction. She confirmed that is was. They never were uncomfortable but they continued sporadically throughout the day.

That night Travis and I had our 2nd to last childbirth class; the hospital visit/tour. I joked that I should pack my bag "just in case". The hospital is about 20 minutes from our house. We toured the building and finished class in one of the conference rooms at the hospital. During class I kept a tally of my contractions and timed them. I showed our instructor during break. The contractions were all over the place and weren't showing any signs of getting closer together, therefore it was nothing to get too excited about.

We got home from class around 10:00pm. After getting ready for bed we turned on Friends. I fell asleep during the first episode and woke up around 10:30 from the contractions. Travis was sleeping so I tried to ignore them and shut my eyes. They were stronger than before and I wasn't having any luck falling back asleep. I was pretty uncomfortable so I ran a bath and sat in my whirlpool tub for 2 hours. After my bath I still couldn't sleep so began pacing around the living room going from couch to loveseat, trying to find a comfortable position, hoping I could shut my eyes and fall asleep. I kept thinking about how our childbirth class instructor stressed the importance of getting enough sleep before you go to the hospital. All I wanted was a good night's rest....that didn't happen. The contractions never stopped. They never got closer together though either. So they played with my head a lot and made me believe more than once that this wasn't really labor. Maybe it was "false labor" I was experiencing? I didn't know what was going on for sure. I never got more than a few minutes of sleep in between contractions (they were anywhere from 5-9 minutes apart but never stopped.) I was in pain and I was tired. I took another 2 hour bath at some point during the long night. Finally I heard the alarm go off in the bedroom. Travis came out of the room and found me wide awake on the couch. He thought I had just woke up. After I told him I had been up all night from the contractions he called into work and said he wouldn't be coming in today. It was around 6:00am. I knew I wanted to labor at home for as long as I could but I had no idea how much progress my body had been making. I didn't want to go to the hospital, get checked and be told I was only dilated 3cm and get sent home. I paced around for a few more hours. I felt pretty crappy. I tried eating toast but just couldn't do it. I had lots of lower back pain and found relief when Trav would apply counter-pressure to the pain as I leaned up against the wall or counter. By 10:00 I decided to call the hospital just to see what they thought I should do. Contractions were still around 5 minutes apart. Sometimes closer together- sometimes farther apart (was I timing them incorrectly?) I did notice some "show" (I will spare you the real terminology) when I went to the bathroom and that's actually what made me end up calling the hospital. They told me I could come in but that there wasn't a guarantee I would be staying being that my contractions weren't getting closer together.

{Part 2 coming soon...}

{Just to show you what I looked like on June 9th 2009. Let me know if you need to see a picture of my feet! :) Total weight gain: 55-60 pounds. Even my face is swollen...I was huge}

perspective.

2011-02-10T14:04:00.003-06:00

A few weeks ago I was asked by someone at the church we've been attending if I wanted to sign up to make a meal for someone at our church who recently lost her husband. I had no idea who this person was, it was just a name on a piece of paper but I was happy to help {and happy they asked me} so I signed up to bring lunch for Thursday, Feb. 10th.

As I was preparing the meal this morning I started thinking about who this person was. I had developed a picture in my mind of a little old woman. Would she be all alone? Were her grown kids staying with her? Does she have grandkids? Maybe Aubrey could cheer her up or at least bring a smile to her face. {Last night at the grocery store it was clear to me that Aubrey puts a smile on everyone's face who she sees. She smiles, says "Hi" or "Hello" or even "Thank You" to everyone she sees. I couldn't help but radiate a smile myself seeing all the smiles she was creating in the time we spent buying groceries.}

When the meal was just about ready for delivery, I emailed my husband the address to make sure I knew where I was going. During our conversation of instant messaging back and forth, he realized who I was bringing the meal to and typed "did you know he was only 28." I could hardly wrap my brain around this and I was at a loss for words. I just assumed the widow I would be seeing today was an elderly woman. A million thoughts and questions ran through my mind and I suddenly felt like I needed to bring more than a meal to this person I had never met before. My mind was now racing and I was on a mission to find something else I could bring to her. My heart hurt and my eyes were stinging with tears I was holding back.

My phone rang and it was someone from church calling to let me know I should just leave it on the doorstep because they weren't able to get a hold of her. A few minutes later my phone rang again and it was her. She sounded very cheerful and upbeat. She was heading to the airport soon to pick up family so I told her I'd bring it right over. This was no longer a lonely old lady going through the seasons of life. It was someone my age. Someone blindsided by death. Someone who should have friends stopping by with their toddlers for coffee to visit. Not strangers stopping by to drop of meals. I couldn't imagine how she was holding it all together. I couldn't help but picture the "what-ifs." What if this was me? I needed something to give her. Something to bring her some sort of comfort or hope. I just bought a book I've seen referenced on more than one blog called "Jesus Calling". It's a book of daily devotionals wrapped around finding peace. I bought one for a friend going through a difficult time and wanted one for myself to see what it was all about. Something told me it was the right gift for her so I wrapped it up along with some Dove dark chocolates {because those have a way of always making me smile}.

Meanwhile my daughter was in her highchair throwing bits of her chicken noodle soup across the room {and this is no exaggeration. I do not know what has gotten into her lately}, enthusiastically splashing the broth that she spilled on her tray with both hands and then wiping her wet messy hands on her face and in her hair {it was complete and utter chaos}. I chose to have tunnel vision in order to complete my task at hand; packaging up my meal & gift for this young widow. My kitchen was a disaster. My daughter was an even bigger disaster and now needed a new outfit {and a bath for that matter} but we had no time. I changed her as fast as I could {which is a challenge in itself} and got the food loaded. She had her heart set on the outfit she poured her lunch on and was now throwing an absolute fit that she has to wear something else. We managed to get out the door and to our destination. Thankfully the short drive gave us both just enough time to find our happy faces and regain composure. It was a brief introduction and hand off. And then we were on our way back home. I drove in silence thinking about her life. Thinking about her big empty house.

When I arrived home I put Aubrey down for her nap and began cleaning up the massive mess. I couldn't help but be grateful in an odd way for the mess I had to clean up. Because it meant I had a family. I've never been so grateful cleaning in my life. But I felt lucky to have that mess to clean up. I felt so blessed that I have a housefull of things to do and needs to be met. Today I learned that in the midst of chaos and day-to-day energy expending tasks I can be grateful. Love the people in your life. Let them know how much they mean to you. And let the little things be your every day reminder of how lucky you are to have a mess to clean up.

35 weeks

2011-02-07T10:56:00.005-06:00

Best moment of the week? Watching the Superbowl halftime show was pretty fun & exciting. Aubrey and her cousins Ava & Halle were dancing up a storm. (I couldn't decide what was more entertaining to watch!) Also, the company I work for (Just For Kix) made the costumes with the lights that were used for the halftime show AND the daughter of the owners was one of the dancer's on stage with the Black Eyed Peas. Pretty cool!

How big is baby? A little over 5 pounds and 18 inches. According to babyzone.com (the size predictions always make me laugh...I am thinking my baby is closer to 7 pounds and 20 inches).

Sleep? Unbelievably uncomfortable. Wondering if sleep will ever be comfortable again....

Cravings? Everything is good. The oreo/pudding/whipped cream dessert cups we had last night are going to be on my mind a lot I'm sure. :)

Movement? So much. Especially in the area of my right ribs. (lots of kicking).

Symptoms? The usual barrel of fun.

Gender? ?

What I'm looking forward to? Holding my little baby.

Weekly Wisdom: So much to do. So little time. In other words: I need to get going on my "things to do before baby" list. (Am I really due in 5 weeks?!?!?)

Milestones: Next month I can have a beer. That seems like a milestone right? I haven't really grasped that yet. It seems crazy.

Emotions: Grateful. Happy. Excited. Loved.

Project 52: Week 5

2011-02-06T16:55:00.001-06:00

Ennui. I'm not even going to pretend that I knew what this meant {or how to pronounce it even} as it's not a word I use regularly or ever. So for anyone else wondering, here is the definition and good luck with the pronunciation. {I try to say it and it makes me feel like a little kid trying to say"ornery"} :)

–noun

a feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest; boredom: The endless lecture produced an unbearable ennui.

{I lucked out with this picture.}
Scene: Travis and I are busy in the kitchen preparing snacks & other goodies to bring to our Superbowl party. Aubrey is sitting at the counter watching us. Sighs. Sets her head down. I instantly think of this week's assignment and luckily my camera is in arms reach. Snap. Perfection.
{Okay maybe not "perfection" but I'm happy with it!}

barefoot & in the kitchen

2011-02-05T09:25:00.003-06:00

With my work schedule I'm gone 3 nights a week and with tax season Travis works late so we eat a lot of pizza and other ~~crap~~ convenient things this time of year. We both love to cook but when we're this busy it's easier to keep things simple. Started the week off with a snow day which got me in the mood to cook and it carried through all week. Friday I was feeling ambitious and tried out several new recipes for our dinner. Felt good to be back in the kitchen creating real meals for my family. Last night was my first attempt making steak (Trav makes steak a lot in the summer when we can grill so I've never actually cooked steak). The recipe I tried I will definitely be using again and again. When Mason's with us I always try to make something he'll enjoy. He saw the steaks and said "so are we having something special for supper tonight?" It was a great meal and I was impressed with how much everyone (including Aubrey) appreciated and enjoyed it. The boys even did the dishes! :) It was a great night! :)

Meals of the week

Monday: My husband's favorite beef stew & biscuits (perfect for our snow day)
Tuesday: on our own/leftovers (I did make special K bars for a treat)
Wednesday: Chicken parmesan & mixed greens salad & garlic mozzarella french bread
Thursday: on our own/leftovers
Friday: Pan Seared T-bone steaks with chimichurri, broccoli & cheese smashed potatoes, green beans, and crusty garlic & herb bread
*I modified the recipes as I always do, with the exception of the steak recipe. I used red potatoes, broccoli and califlower for the side dish and added fresh garlic- turned out great. And with the bread I used french bread instead of sourdough. I also used dried herbs because that's what I had on hand therefore I didn't use a food processor just mixed it all by hand. I also only used 2 cloves of garlic and it was plenty. (I love garlic but felt like 6 cloves was a bit much for the amount of bread I was using).

details

2011-02-04T10:11:00.001-06:00

{One more momento from our engagement}

The hotel places little "forecast cards" under your door. This is just one of the many things they do that impress me. I love details and anything with distinction. They also have a nightly turn-down service complete with chocolate truffles that they leave on your bedside table. And complimentary evening wine and cheese. I told you I was in love with this hotel. My other favorite feature is their roof top hot tub. Believe it or not we attempted to try it and quickly realized there was no way we could survive.

Notice the temperatures on the card. Brrrrrrr that is cold.

Hands down

2011-02-03T08:40:00.000-06:00

me: Thursday is our 4 year anniversary of when we got engaged! :) Travis: loved every day since. me: :) best choice you ever made. Travis: hands down

our story

It was February 3, 2007. We were doing the long-distance relationship thing after our college years had ended. It was a Saturday morning and I had just arrived to be with Travis for the weekend. He pretty much said grab your bag let's go the second I walked in the door. He had plans. This was not like him. I was excited. Even though he wouldn't tell me where we were going. I had no idea he was going to propose, but I did have a feeling he was surprising me with a weekend in our college town (we always talked about going there and staying at this fabulous hotel that I'm in love with). Lo and behold that is where he took me. But first to our favorite restaurant where we had our first date (when I was 19 and he was 22!) and then stopped at our favorite college watering hole. Good 'ol Chumley's. Wasn't quite the same but it brought back many memories! And onto the fabulous Hotel Donaldson.
That is where the proposal took place.
It was a whirwind. It was perfect. It was amazing.
Hands down, best choice he ever made. :)

{A card from the hotel with "Steffensen's" printed on it. They didn't know we were getting engaged. They didn't know if we were married or not. But it was the first time anyone ever referred to us as the Steffensen's. And it just so happened to be on the night we got engaged. How appropriate. I had to take a picture. It was the start of our "us".}

We celebrated just the two of us in the cocktail lounge at our hotel, the Hodo with champagne and martinis. One of which (the french Hodo) became our signature cocktail at our wedding reception. The next day we drove around the state to share our news with our families in person.

It was definitely a night I will never ever ever forget. I went to bed smiling and woke up smiling (I'm pretty sure I even slept smiling). My eyes were glued to my hand for the next 5 months. I loved being engaged and planning our wedding & dreaming about the future knowing it was going to be a reality.
It was one of the most exciting times of my life.
Hands down.

Ahhh-mazing

2011-02-02T15:40:00.000-06:00

Today I went and had my well needed massage. {Gifted to me by lovely my-inlaws. Thank you!} It was awesome. Gma & Gpa S came to play with Aubrey so I could leave to get my massage.

When I was pregnant with Aubrey I got pedicures every week during the last month of my pregnancy. I was so swollen. My legs and feet were like clubs. (I would post a picture but I'm afraid you would never visit my blog again). I could've cared less about having my toes painted. I paid to have them rub my aching feet & legs. It got me through the final weeks! :)

And now with this pregnancy and all the pelvic, hip & back pain (and the latest- my ribs) I've been experiencing maybe I need to indulge in a weekly massage until baby comes! Seriously every morning when I get out of bed my body feels like I got hit by a truck. I don't know why my body hurts so much more with this pregnancy. And after dance I am so ready to lay down when I get home. When I'm on my feet for too long it feels like my pelvis/hips are going to break. Last night Trav asked me if I wanted to come and help him shovel (at about 9pm) I was in bed and responded- sure if you want to take over and hold the baby for awhile I will gladly shovel. I'm so uncomfortable but trying not to focus on that. Today however was wonderful and I loved loved loved my massage.

I heart February

2011-02-01T13:04:00.003-06:00

I'm not a huge fan of winter but I try to make the most of it. Who doesn't love the holidays? That always makes winter more bearable, right? Well once they've come and gone winter can tend to drag on and on....so I always try to have things to look forward to and February gives me all sorts of reasons to celebrate.

1) I love Valentine's Day. I love LOVE. :)
2) It's the month I met Travis (10 years ago this year!)
3) It's the month we got engaged.
4) It's a short month.
5) Groundhogs day, duh. (okay maybe I'm kidding with this one. But it's in Feb. so I can love it if I want!)
6) It just all around makes me happy.

I've already ordered my Valentine's cards (yes I'm one of those) and I've already been plotting our Valentine's Day menu. And looking up Valentine's theme brunch ideas for my MOPS group. And looking up yummy heart-shaped cookie recipes to make with Aubrey. I love LOVE. :)

Happy February Loves!

34 weeks

2011-01-31T10:23:00.000-06:00

Best moment of the week? Having my parents here Thursday & Friday. AND getting to go out on a date with my husband.

How big is baby? About 17 inches and nearly 5 pounds. According to babyzone.com

Sleep? Uncomfortable. Everything hurts....

Cravings? My latest addiction: Moose Tracks frozen yogurt.

Movement? So much.

Symptoms? Pretty much just tired and uncomfortable.

Gender? No idea. Boy? Girl? Only time will tell!

What I'm looking forward to? Doing normal things {walking up stairs, brushing my teeth, putting on boots} without getting out of breath! Ha! :)

Weekly Wisdom: Get all my appointments (eye doctor & dentist mainly) taken care of now.

Milestones: Getting my maternity leave staff & schedule figured out for dance. Feels good to be organized with a plan.

Emotions: Grateful. Happy. Excited.

Project 52: Week 4

2011-01-30T22:16:00.002-06:00

Reflection. I thought I had some good ideas with this one....but nothing panned out the way I envisioned. I wanted to capture a picture with emotional meaning in addition to the literal meaning of the word but didn't exactly succeed.

Reflection #1

My idea was to take a picture of this framed picture in Aubrey's room (from when I was pregnant with her) and have her in the reflection. In the second picture below you can sort of see Aubrey peeking out the window. I just couldn't get the picture I was going for so I went another route.

Reflection #2

Aubrey playing in the mirror.

I did try several other shots. Reflection in a glass door, the face of a clock, another framed picture but like I said nothing really turned out.

{I'm pretty sure I am flunking P 52.} :)

Is this a problem?

2011-01-28T16:31:00.004-06:00

I was first introduced to these bad boys last fall. If you haven't tried them you should be warned that they are addicting little devils. Anyway this afternoon I was looking for a snack and came across an unopened bag in our cupboard. Just as I opened the bag I heard Aubrey wake up from her nap. Not willing to put my untouched snack away {I try not to eat things I don't want her to have in front of her} I convinced myself she'd settle for a more appropriate snack. The second she saw the cheetos she insisted on having one. I tried to give her other options. Apples? Crackers? Goldfish? She wanted nothing but the jalepeno cheetos. So I reluctantly handed one over to her. Expecting her to make a face and ask for her milk {they do kick off some heat} I prepared myself for her reaction. She didn't even flinch and chomped it down like a pro. Reached her orange little fingers for the bag and said "mowa pease." What kind of parent lets their one year old eat jalepeno cheetos? Apparently I do.

Exhausted...

2011-01-27T21:12:00.000-06:00

I have been so tired all week. It was a busy weekend with dance performances on Saturday and an all day competition on Sunday out of town and I feel like I haven't had a chance to just breathe and relax. Not being prepared to start teaching new routines on Monday meant for a stress-filled day. I was too tired to attend my MOPS meeting on Tuesday which was disappointing and annoying because I always look forward to it, I just didn't have the energy to allow my Tuesday to be any busier than it needed to be. Yesterday was my "catch-up" for getting caught up on neglected house work which involved doing the biggest pile of dishes you've ever seen {literally took me all day to complete. 3 separate sessions at the sink}. Aubrey even helped with the housework. Oh how she loves the swiffer. Bless her little heart. :) Trav has been working late now that tax season is upon us. I had hoped for a date night but it didn't happen so I settled for a hot bath to decompress and relax. Although it wasn't nearly as relaxing as I was hoping for. My mind has been stirring with dance related issues and other things. I sometimes wish I had an "off" button to turn off all the noise and issues weighing on my mind. Today was another busy day taking care of work stuff but I'm thankful I got to enjoy some time in the kitchen trying out a new recipe for tonight. During the week our suppers have been pathetic lately. We eat whatever we find and whatever is easiest based on the time of night we get home. Cereal has been my go-to fix. Trav's has been toast with spaghetti sauce. (It was time for a real meal!) Looking forward to a day filled with nothing tomorrow so I can relax and take it easy. Hope all of you have yourselves a wonderful Friday and a restful weekend.

33 weeks

2011-01-24T09:05:00.001-06:00

Best moment of the week? Dinner at Trav's grandparents Saturday night. It was a never ending meal of deliciousness. I can't remember the last time I had food that good!!!!

How big is baby? About 17 inches and about 4 pounds. According to babyzone.com

Sleep? Sucks.

Cravings? Crab legs. Mission accomplished. {Last night we had ourselves a wonderful dinner.}

Movement? Such a kicker and mover. :)

Symptoms? Pelvis pain, hip pain & back pain....I need a massage asap. {hopefully next week!}

Gender? Based on my sister-in-law, Jenna's candy craving analysis: boy. Her theory is if you crave fruity candy it's a girl. Salty, chocolatey, peanut buttery candy it's a boy. {When I was pregnant with Aubrey I loved skittles, laffy taffy, strawberry shakes so she told me I was having a girl....now it's bring on the chocolate peanut buttery candy.}

What I'm looking forward to?

This. {a new baby falling asleep on me}

Weekly Wisdom: Be prepared for anything.

Milestones: Every day is a milestone at this point! :) Just kidding....I don't have any big milestones to report.

Emotions: Grateful.

Project 52: Week 3

2011-01-23T21:54:00.005-06:00

Self portrait....

My creative juices are sucked out of me. And I didn't feel like trying anything else to be real honest. So yes, this is my week 3/self portrait. {Such a slacker I know....but this is the best I can do for now}.

I need a duallie

2011-01-21T15:55:00.000-06:00

It's hard to believe that when the snow is gone I will be needing a double stroller. I'm already looking forward to Spring. {Could have something to do with the fact that today was -20 degrees} I recently started looking for a new stroller and think I found the one I want! BOB Sport Utility Stroller Duallie. Looks like fun!

for the love of fleece

2011-01-20T14:45:00.000-06:00

Since Saturday I've had a daily struggle with my one-and-a-half-year-old to get her to put on clothes. I'm not sure where this came from or why this suddenly started. She's always been easy-going and let's me dress her in whatever I choose {for the most part}. On Saturday I had a dance show out of town and my husband ~~had plans to sit on the ice all day, looking for fish to throw a spear at while hoping not to spill any booze~~ had prior engagements so I had to bring Aubrey to my in-laws for the day. She started crying when I unzipped her jammies to change her and she started trying to pull them back on saying "No!" I tried to explain that we were getting ready to go to Grandma & Grandpa's and held up the outfit she was going to wear in hopes she would comply. Wasn't happening. She protested whimpering "Noooo" and pointed to the jammies she was wearing. Okay then. Not a fight I had time for so off we went to G&G's in her fleece footie pj's.

And so it began.

Each day since then she has insisted on wearing fleece footie pj's. On Monday we met a friend for lunch and I was somehow able to trick her into wearing normal clothes but the second we got home she pulled out her jammies from the laundry basket and proceeded to try and put them on {over her clothes}. I couldn't talk her out of it so I let her change back into her jammies. {I guess I can't blame her for wanting to be comfortable, right?}.

On Tuesday while putting away her freshly folded laundry {thank you Grandma Kathy} Aubrey was "trying to help" and she discovered a new fleece hoodie that my parents just got her for Christmas and to my surprise she insisted on wearing it immediately. Oh good, I thought, she wants to actually wear clothes today and I wont have to send her to my sister-in-laws in pj's. Maybe she just prefers soft clothes?

Yesterday however, I tried finding the softest, fleece-like options for her to wear when it came time to get her dressed for the day. Nope. She turned down all of my suggestions, reached for a pair of fleece footie jammies and smiled giggling with delight. I wasn't about take away her joy. We had no plans. I was fine letting her wear jammies all day.

And today her infatuation with fleece footed pajamas continues....

{minor meltdown over wanting to wear the jammies she pulled out of the laundry basket}

Late this morning {while still wearing her pjs from last night} she comes giddily walking out of her bedroom carrying 2 pairs of fleece footed jammies she found in her laundry basket. She was so excited about them and wanted me to put them on her. It didn't matter that they were the jammies she wore the past 2 days. It didn't matter that she was currently wearing fleece footed jammies. She was loving her find and wanted to change into a different pair. So I opened her drawer and found one last clean pair of fleece footed jammies. And I have myself a happy girl.

32 Weeks

2011-01-17T09:57:00.001-06:00

Best moment of the week? One of my 4-year old dancers told me my hair looked good and she liked my clothes (at our dance show on Saturday). I know she's only 4 but it was sweet and made my day! :)

How big is baby? Over 16 inches and about 4 pounds. According to babyzone.com

Sleep? really, really uncomfortable...

Cravings? sleep. massage. pedicure. hot bath.

Movement? Definitely lots of moving around. Wakes me up. And I can see my stomach jolting around when baby is really wound up.

Symptoms? Pelvis pain, hip pain & back pain....I need a massage asap.

Gender? I go back and forth. Going to be surprised either way I think! Sometimes it seems like it's a boy then I picture another girl....I really have no idea.

What I'm looking forward to? Sleeping comfortably....I forgot what that's like.

Weekly Wisdom: take it easy!

Milestones: Dr. appts are every 2 weeks now....the end is near.

Emotions: Happy.

Project 52: Week 2

2011-01-16T11:25:00.005-06:00

deliciousness.

Prayer.

2011-01-11T08:58:00.000-06:00

When you pray do you believe? Or when you pray do you hope?

When you pray do you believe & trust?

Or do you hope & worry?

Prayer has been a part of my life for as long as I remember. I pray before I fall asleep at night. I sometimes pray before I get out of bed in the morning. I pray when I read devotionals. I pray for friends & family when someone is in need of prayer. As a family we pray before meals. I often shoot out little prayers to God throughout the day. I pray with Aubrey before putting her to bed at night. I will admit that I go through the motions of prayer sometimes with my list of things I routinely pray about and only once in awhile step outside my routine and speak from my heart and have an actual conversation with God. At a church service a few months ago the pastor asked the question, "When you pray do you believe? Or when you pray do you hope?" It made me think and reflect on my own faith and my own approach to prayer. And quite honestly I don't know the answer. I'd like to think I believe but there's a part of me that maybe just hopes for the best when I pray. I've never kept a prayer journal but think it would be pretty amazing if I did. I believe in prayer. I have a long list of examples of answered prayers, but do I believe the same way the disciples had faith? They believed after the miracle. God wants us to put our trust in Him and believe before the miracle.

My heart is heavy as my prayer list continues to grow. After a a long, heartbreaking conversation Sunday afternoon with a close friend of mine, I told her I would pray for her.

I will admit I sometimes don't even know how to pray or what to pray for. But yesterday as I prepared to pray I was reminded of how to pray as I thought back to that church sermon. I even looked it up online listened to it again. It reminded to pray without worry. To trust and have faith. To believe before the miracle.

I've decided to document these prayers as the start of my prayer journal. Although some of these prayers I've been praying for months (or even years) the difference now is that I'm not going to worry. I'm not going to hope. I'm going to believe.

Praying for a dear friend & her husband to have a baby. They have been struggling for years to conceive. Aubrey & I pray for mommy's friend every night. I have a memory from when I was a child praying every night for a long period of time for "Mike & Donna {friend's of my parent's who struggled to get pregnant and then lost their first child at birth} to have a baby girl." When I was a child praying I'm certain I prayed without doubt. Without worry. Without reservation. I knew He would answer my prayers. They named her Kristin. When I was 7 my family and I took a trip to California and I got to meet the girl who I prayed for every night.

Praying for baby Brayden & his fight to get better. Aubrey & I would pray every night before Thanksgiving for baby Brayden to get bigger & stronger so he could come home with his parents. God answered our prayers. But now he is back in the hospital and sick again. So we will continue to pray for Brayden and his family. Only now we are praying for God to transform him and heal him. And I will trust that He will.

Praying for baby Scarlett & her fight with her brain surgery & life. I will pray for God to transform her and heal her. And I will trust that He will.

Praying for a close friend of my sister-in-law's. I pray that God will transform her and heal her. And I will trust that He will.

Praying for the Harrison family & little Ramsey. Ramsey & Evie were 20-month old twins. Evie died in her sleep about a month ago. I pray for the family that they will find strength in one another through Him. And that they'll be given peace & understanding. I pray that God will heal them, bless them & give them a bright future. That their faith will remain strong so they will all be reunited one day.

Praying for a close friend of mine. In this situation she is battling depression and her husband is choosing to turn his back on her & wants a separation. They have a young child. It's heartbreaking. There's so much at stake. I'm struggling with what to pray for? For God to soften her husband's heart? For him to not walk out on her when she needs him the most? For her to find strength {alone} to get through this? For God to bring good people into her life? For their son and his future. My heart aches...I tried talking to my husband about this and I just broke down and lost it. It just doesn't make sense to me how the person who committed his life to her can just walk away??? There are so many unfortunate circumstances that are out of our control. But when it comes down to choice I have a hard time comprehending decisions like that. Choosing to walk away from someone you love. Choosing to give up. It makes no sense to me.

I know God has plans for everyone. He will answer prayer in His own time. In His own way. So maybe I don't need to focus on what to pray for and just pray & trust that God will transform these precious lives. That God will heal the hurting. I believe he will.

31 weeks

2011-01-10T10:22:00.006-06:00

Best moment of the week? Being with family all weekend.

How big is baby? Over 16 inches. Weighing about 3.3 pounds according to babycenter.com

Sleep? I've been going to bed much later than usual so it seems like I've been sleeping better because I'm so tired! :)

Cravings? chocolate. milk. frosted mini wheats.

Movement? So much it's ridiculous! Just kidding- I love it! And I can literally see a foot move across my belly. :) But I don't know how this baby is suppose to double or even triple in size.....I feel like there is no room!! (There's no way this baby is only 3.3 pounds....I'm thinking closer to 5 pounds). Enjoying all the movements though. Even the kick-boxing! :)

Symptoms? Pelvis pain, hip pain & back pain....I need a massage asap.

Gender? I keep referring to baby as "he" {along with everyone else} I think I'm going to be surprised if it's a girl. I don't know why I just keep picturing a boy.

What I'm looking forward to? So many things! Seriously....I'm so excited for everything.

Weekly Wisdom: The book I've been reading {I will post a review as soon as I finish} has lots of wisdom about natural childbirth that has really been helping enforce my own thoughts. For example: I know I do not want electronic fetal monitoring. Something I was apprehensive about while in labor with Aubrey. It just seemed very unnecessary {not to mention uncomfortable}. Now that I know more about it I included it in my birth plan and my doctor gave me approval to labor without the use of EFM.

An excerpt from Ina May's Guide To Childbirth on electronic fetal monitoring:
"Electronic fetal monitoring was introduced widely during the 1970s, with the assumption that it would make labor safer for the baby. Hospitals began using EFM before there was any evidence to back up this assumption, and EFM became routine in many places. For all its great popularity in hospitals (more than eighty percent of the U.S. women labor with EFM), this ubiquitous machine has not been associated with any noticeable lowering of infant mortality. Research done since then shows that intermittent listening with a fetoscope is every bit as good at detecting a baby who is in trouble from lack of oxygen. From the mother's standpoint, intermittent listening is far better -- less painful and less likely to lead to ineffective labor and cesarean section."
"When the uterus contracts, blood can't flow through the placenta as easily, which means that the baby gets less oxygen. Babies normally tolerate these fluctuations in oxygen levels quite well. Generally, uterine contractions don't last long enough to cause damage from oxygen deprivation. If a baby is oxygen-deprived, the pattern of the heart-beat will usually change. When this happens, the baby needs to be delivered quickly."
"Continuous EFM is done in two ways. The most common method involves two receivers held in place by belts around your hips. The second is done with an electrode attached to the baby's head by a small needle stuck into the baby's scalp, which is kept in place until the baby is born." {I had to have both when I was in labor with Aubrey despite my protests.}
"Lots of research has shown that continuous EFM used routinely sometimes makes doctors and midwives believe that something is wrong when everything is actually all right. Someone misinterprets the tracings on the printout, orders and emergency cesarean, and a perfectly healthy baby is born, showing no signs of distress. An unnecessary cesarean section or instrumental delivery {a vacuum extractor was used to deliver Aubrey after I was told my choice was that or a c-section} is less likely when the baby's heartbeat is intermittently monitored with a Doppler or other type of fetoscope."

Milestones: Down to single digits in weeks. 9 weeks to go! Whoo hoooo! :)

Emotions: Happy. {and a little tired!}

Project 52

2011-01-09T21:27:00.006-06:00

I'm excited to try this new "challenge" :) One of the blogs I follow: Just Another Day in our Midwest Paradise, posted this idea. You take a photo every week for 52 weeks based upon the preset categories. The idea is to get more comfortable using your camera and get outside of your comfort zone. Travis and I received a camera from my parents for our wedding gift 3 years ago and we both love the camera, it takes great pictures....we just need to learn how to use it to it's maximum potential. Project 52 will hopefully be my motivation!

Join in if you want!!

Week 1 - Black & White
Week 2 - Food
Week 3 - Self Portrait
Week 4 - Reflection
Week 5 - Ennui
Week 6 - Red
Week 7 - Time
Week 8 - Pink
Week 9 - Patterns
Week 10 - Morning
Week 11 - Round
Week 12 - Hands
Week 13 - Shine
Week 14 - Envy
Week 15 - Soft
Week 16 - Perspective
Week 17 - Love
Week 18 - Start
Week 19 - Free
Week 20 - Texture
Week 21 - Toys
Week 22 - Downtown
Week 23 - Summer
Week 24 - Heat
Week 25 - Fantasy
Week 26 - Water
Week 27 - Shadows
Week 28 - Light
Week 29 - Night
Week 30 - Macro
Week 31 - Nature
Week 32 - Clothes
Week 33 - Green
Week 34 - Map
Week 35 - Laughter
Week 36 - Child(ren)
Week 37 - Yellow
Week 38 - Candy
Week 39 - Pets
Week 40 - Never Ending
Week 41 - Sports
Week 42 - Books
Week 43 - Blue
Week 44 - Letter of the Alphabet
Week 45 - Innocence
Week 46 - Most Important Thing in Life
Week 47 - Heaps
Week 48 - Family
Week 49 - Favorite Spot
Week 50 - Metal
Week 51 - Three
Week 52 - Fun

Week 1- Black & White

Thanks for the fun idea d.a.r!

New Year's Eve

2011-01-03T10:28:00.018-06:00

"SURPRISE!"

My husband's birthday is New Year's Eve. 2010 was his golden birthday. I managed to pull of a surprise birthday party for him with the help of lots of good friends and my amazing family! My sister-in-laws were a huge help in making it possible, along with my mom who stayed next door and took care of Aubrey for us.

The plan: Travis was under the impression that we were heading up north to celebrate Christmas with my side of the family at a resort on the North Shore for the weekend. {This was believable because it was exactly the same weekend & resort we had Christmas at last year}.

Reality: Instead of my family waiting for us at the condo, it was 5 other couples/friends ours. They arrived an hour before us and waited for the surprise to unfold.

It went off without a hitch and despite the many obstacles I encountered throughout the planning- he had no clue what was in store for him.
Everyone had a blast celebrating Trav's 31st birthday and ringing in the new year together!

Just a few highlights...

5-course dinner complete with wine pairings.

Our awesome Ski Lodge themed condo.

Plenty of room for having a great weekend.

Fun games + alcohol = lots of laughs {even for the 2 sober pregos, myself included}. Favorites: Telestrations, Apples to Apples & Farkel {among many others!}

Amazing view.

Being together with a great group of people.

Happy New Year!

30 weeks

2011-01-02T18:45:00.003-06:00

How big is baby? About 3 pounds. A little over 15 inches. (According to babyzone.com- I disagree...It feels like baby is much bigger than 3 pounds!)

Maternity clothes? Yep.

Stretch marks? No.

Sleep? If I sleep with about 5-6 pillows all around me and don't wake up from heartburn or having to pee it's not bad.

Foods I am loving? Tums.

Foods I am hating? I love it all until it gives me heartburn....

Movement? It's turned into much more than just the feeling of a foot or arm moving around. I can feel baby shift positions, stretch and turn. When baby is pressed up against my stomach I can see and feel a hard round ball shape (baby butt?).

Symptoms? Heartburn. {Away for the weekend without tums was rough}. Braxton Hicks contrations {new as of Friday}.

Gender? Boy?? Girl?? No idea.

What I'm looking forward to? Our growing family & what lies ahead! I'm so excited for Aubrey to be a big sister. I'm so excited to snuggle & love up a new little baby. The thought of those first few days/weeks brings me to tears. It's the best.

Weekly Wisdom: I went to babycenter or babyzone to find out how big my baby is this week. I started reading the other things listed about week 30 and decided to stop after reading. I don't want my thoughts to be shaped by what something says I should think or feel. I'm not sick of being pregnant. I'm not struggling to bend over {okay, maybe a little...} but I just don't want to be told or reminded of certain things. I just want to keep doing what I'm doing. I still have 10 weeks. I don't want to start feeling like I'm sick of being pregnant so I will avoid thinking things that make me aware of what I should be feeling or am already feeling. {does that make sense?}

Milestones: Being 30 weeks pregnant seems like a milestone. I can't believe I only have 10 weeks. 10 weeks. Wow.

Emotions: Happy.

Love this stuff.

2010-12-29T20:08:00.005-06:00

I was reminded of how much I love this shampoo last week while staying at my in-laws when I pulled it out of my travel tote. I confiscated the shampoo provided by my favorite hotel during my marathon weekend last May. {Yes, I'm the girl that takes the hotel shampoo & conditioner- but only if it's a good kind}. I might need to invest in a full size bottles because last week when I used it I was in love. Aveda products can take some getting use to because of their intense earthy aromas. But it's growing on me and I'm now a fan.

It's the little things in life that make me happy. :) What is your favorite shampoo???

29 weeks & some catching up!

2010-12-28T08:47:00.002-06:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! We spent most of last week at my in-laws while our wood floors were being refinished. We made it back to our house in time to celebrate Christmas Eve together and had a fabulous turkey dinner. {The wild turkey Travis shot- we had planned on preparing it for Thanksgiving this year but decided do it Christmas Eve instead. It was quite delicious!}. We let the kids stay up late and play. Christmas is so fun with kids! Aubrey loves her new kitchen and was so excited to play with it. It's going to be another busy week with more celebrating coming up this weekend.

How big is baby? 2 1/2 pounds. A little over 15 inches. (According to babycenter.com).

Maternity clothes? Mix of both.

Stretch marks? No.

Sleep? Could be better.

Foods I am loving? All the good Christmas goodies! :) Cocoa Log :) {I could eat that for supper!}

Foods I am hating? It's all good!

Movement? I can tell baby is growing and taking up more space. Baby is quite active and it's fun to see him/her move around. I've also started noticing hiccups a couple times a day. :)

Symptoms? Heartburn. Sleepless nights. Bach aches. Pelvis pain.

Gender? Boy?

What I'm looking forward to? Naming baby. :)

Weekly Wisdom: I'm all out of wisdom....

Milestones: Can't think of any....(I am lame this week I know!)

Emotions: Content.

Yes please.

2010-12-21T14:39:00.006-06:00

I can't help but dream up my next vacation when I look outside and see nothing but snow...lots and lots of snow. After our day yesterday Aubrey and I are staying put. Inside. While it continues to snow outside. Yesterday we hung out at my sister-in-laws for the day. Our floors were getting refinished and we had to be out of the house bright and early. It's fun for Aubrey to play with her cousins and the daycare kids so we thought it would be a good idea to hang out there. I knew we were expecting more snow, but I didn't think driving 5 miles would be a problem. The snow started mid morning. We were having a great day at Amanda's. Meanwhile schools were closing early along with everything else in town. After Aubrey's nap we decided to head out. After several attempts I realized my car was never going to make it up the "hill" {aka slight incline in the road} and I had to turn around and go back to Amanda's. Only to get my car completely stuck in their driveway. Toting a toddler and a pregnant belly in knee deep snow with no boots {good idea} was awesome. Thankfully it was only 20 yards or so to the front door. So back again. We sat and waited until Trav was able to pick us up after work. Did I mention I had attempted to leave 2 hours earlier only to lock my keys in my running car? I had the joy of paying a locksmith to get us into our car. It was quite a day for us! Thankfully I didn't have to call a tow truck....my husband and father-in-law went back later to get my car for me. What wonderful guys!

Like I said, I can't help but fantasize over a beautiful, warm, vacation. Santa baby? All expense trip to The Maldives please?

If you could go ANYWHERE in the world for vacation, where would you go? AND- what was the best vacation you've ever had and why? {Looking for good ideas. Thanks in advance!}

28 weeks

2010-12-20T10:25:00.001-06:00

How big is baby? According to babycenter.com, Baby is the size of a Chinese cabbage-- about 2 1/4 pounds. (Length: almost 15 inches, from head to heel.)

Maternity clothes? Mix of both. I need to order more maternity clothes.

Stretch marks? No.

Sleep? It varies.

Foods I am loving? I certainly loved me some venison jerky the other night playing cards! Thanks Joel!

Foods I am hating? Food & I have a pretty good relationship. There are few that I hate.

Movement? Yes! Lots! My niece Halle got to feel my tummy when a foot or arm was moving around. :)

Symptoms? My aching pelvis. That sounds so weird. I don't remember feeling any pelvis pain with Aubrey. But it hurts when I walk. I just told Trav I need yoga in my life I think. Something!

Gender? I don't know. I really don't.

What I'm looking forward to? So many things...I'm really excited to find out our baby's gender (we wont know until baby arrives) and birthday and name! All fun things I think about a lot lately.

Weekly Wisdom: I would have to say this article I just read on coached pushing. I found it very helpful and reassuring (that I do NOT want coached pushing this time around. Another thing I didn't realize was an option.)

Milestones: Typed up my birth plan to make copies for my doctor, my file for the hospital & one for in my bag for when I give birth. Not like me to be so prepared! But my doctor recommended that I have it written down (especially for the hospital staff) after discussing my thoughts with her.

Emotions: Happy. Peaceful. Reassured.

I can't stop

2010-12-18T10:05:00.007-06:00

This table and chairs belonged to my grandma. I remember playing with it at her house as a child. It got passed on to me when she died and now Aubrey and her siblings will get to enjoy it with their cousins and friends. Currently she's using plastic containers from the kitchen or other toys that look like cups to host her tea parties with bunny and bear. Aubrey is into imaginative play lately. She loves cooking, and setting the table and feeding her stuffed animals. I found this cute tea set made by Green Toys and I love this product already. It's made in the USA. Made from 100% recycled material (milk jugs to be exact). Earth friendly fun. Who doesn't love that?

Christmas shopping for me is always last minute. Let's be honest most things in my life are done last minute. That's just how I work. :) "If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done." I think I just make decisions better under pressure. At least that's what I tell myself. :) I started my Christmas shopping (online of course) yesterday. Which is actually quite early for this girl. Travis and I thought we weren't going to do much for the kids this year but I can't stop. I keep finding things that I get excited about. One thing leads to another. And another...you get the idea.

I guess the good thing about waiting until the last minute is I wont have to wait long to away the gifts we purchased! :) Christmas is so fun.

27 weeks

2010-12-14T08:27:00.002-06:00

Maternity clothes: Maternity shirts yes. I haven't found any maternity jeans that I love....so still rocking the hairbinder and bella bands with my regular jeans.

Sleep: Terrible. I never have a problem falling asleep, but every night I wake up between the hours of 1am-4am to go to the bathroom and then it takes me at least an hour to fall back asleep. It doesn't help that I have dance songs running through my head....how do I make that stop?!!? Thursday night I was up from 1:30-5:00am. {I got out of bed and started working on dance stuff since I couldn't fall back asleep}.
.
Movement: Yes- so much. Moving around as I type actually. I can see my stomach jolting around as baby kicks and moves.

Food cravings: I had an craving about a week ago for a s'mores blizzard. I couldn't stop thinking about it so I made some s'mores, tossed 'em in the blender with some ice cream and enjoyed my delicious treat.

Food aversions: Nope.

Gender: I don't know.

What I'm looking forward to: Running. {I haven't been told I can't run while I'm preg. I did off and on up to about 4 months. And by off and on I mean 4 times. I just don't feel like it most of the time...}

.What I miss: Sleeping through the night.

Milestones: Entering the third and final trimester.

Tis the season

2010-12-13T09:55:00.009-06:00

Performance season that is. Last week I was consumed with dance and preparing for the first shows of the season. The week was stacked with dress rehearsals and a make-up class from a snow day. One of my towns I direct had their show Friday the other was scheduled for Saturday- but due to snow and wind we were forced to reschedule the Saturday show.

Friday night was Aubrey's first show. {My mother-in-law caught this picture of her admiring another dancer's pretty flower in her hair.}

Here Aubrey is performing with her cousins Halle & Ava. It was a "Mommy & Me" class of 10 toddlers and their moms. {For the performance I had my mom dance with Aubrey because I was instructing in the front of the group}. The toddlers ranged in age 18months-age 3. It was certainly entertaining and their spontaneous behaviors had the crowd laughing the whole time. One little girl ran around dancing her own dance. The second Aubrey noticed her grandpa who was announcing, she took off running towards him. One of the twins hopped around in front with her hair bow in her mouth. They definitely had the audience entertained! It was a fun first show!

I will have to try to figure out how to post a video clip! :)

I miss Wednesday...

2010-12-09T08:15:00.003-06:00

Wednesday is my favorite day of the week. It's date night AND I have the day off to do whatever I want. I can get as little or as much done as I please without the clock taunting me. While Aubrey naps instead of returning emails, making collection phone calls, and dealing with work stuff I can relax, take a bath, read a book if I want {which is what I chose to do yesterday} or lay around and do nothing. I'm home all day with Aubrey which I love. We can cook or bake. The day is ours. It's great. I love waking up in the morning on Wednesdays. I even love coming home at night on Tuesdays knowing that I have Wednesday to look forward to.

Last night my husband decided to go to a game feed {instead of having date night with me}. I had a pot of chili brewing and was feeding Aubrey supper when he stopped home for 2 minutes before taking off. My date night turned into watching Keith Urban on Oprah {DVR} and eating almost an entire bag of starbursts. When Travis got home I was tired and fell asleep in the middle of our favorite Wednesday night shows {The Middle, Better With You, Modern Family....}. I woke up this morning and thought of the chili. Crap. I fell asleep and never put it the fridge. I turned off the stove and was letting it cool. I had a small glimmer of hope that maybe Travis saw it and put it away {after all he did go to the kitchen to get himself a bowl of icecream during Better With You. And returned to the kitchen to put his bowl in the sink}. Nope. There my chili sat. What a waste. A huge pot of chili literally down the drain. Ugh that's so annoying.

Another annoyance of my bitter morning is pouring myself a cup of stink. I'm sorry to say but I am a coffee snob {thanks mom and dad} and anything other than fresh ground beans is just dirty water. Travis likes dirty water. I like fresh ground beans. Normally he makes a pot of the good stuff {because I know he secretly likes it better too} but this morning he went with the crap. Now this I have no problem dumping down the drain.

The day has just begun and I'm already missing my Wednesday.

Book Review

2010-12-07T09:06:00.003-06:00

I will admit, I'm a wannabe book-lover. I am guilty of starting books and never finishing them. Or borrowing books and never reading them. I don't know how many books I borrowed during my first pregnancy and didn't read one. (Except for the one that was a day-by-day update with not much more than a paragraph to read at a time). I wish I could sit down and read a book in one sitting (well, maybe not...do people really do that?). Once in awhile if I have nothing better to do I will pick up a book and see if it spark my interest. This book was borrowed to me by my sister-in-law. I wasn't sure if I wanted to read it or needed to read it. I sort of had the attitude that I've already been through the birth/labor experience so why do I need to read about it? But for some reason I decided to take a peak and see if it was any good. I couldn't put it down and was fascinated by all the stories. It took me 2 weeks to read it (that's a record in my world). I often found myself nodding in agreement thinking, "that's exactly how it was with my experience at the hospital." It sparked many conversations with my husband starting with "I didn't know that was an option" or "they told me I couldn't do that". The book definitely got me thinking. I began jotting down things down as I read, to ask my doctor. It was very insightful to say the least. The biggest surprise was learning that some of my requests (that at the time made me feel like I was crazy being that they were turned down) were used to help other women through their laboring experiences. Someday I will post my birth story with Aubrey. Until then just thought I would let everyone know that I highly recommend reading this book whether it's your first birth or your 10th. You could also watch the documentary, The Business of Being Born (produced by the authors of the book). I just watched it yesterday and it was also very interesting. I'm hoping to get my husband to watch it with me. We'll see.

26 weeks

2010-12-06T15:36:00.003-06:00

How big is baby? According to babycenter.com, this week my baby's weight is around 2 pounds and length reaches about 9 inches (crown to rump).

Maternity clothes? Mix of both.

Stretch marks? No.

Sleep? Starting to get less and less comfortable. Haven't been sleeping as well lately. I wake up with back aches. It's hard to find a comfortable position.

Foods I am loving? chocolate. caramel.

Foods I am hating? can't complain.

Movement? Yes. Lots! Love it.

Symptoms? Heartburn. Back aches.

Gender? Still thinking boy.

What I'm looking forward to? My doctor is back from maternity leave and I have an appointment with her next week. I'm looking forward to discussing my birth plan with her to find out what she thinks.

Weekly Wisdom: I just watched the documentary: The Business of Being Born. So I have lots I could say here but I'm going to let it sit and will maybe come back to this. I did like what one M.D. had to say- "If you really want a humanized birth the best thing to do is get the hell out of the hospital." (I will be having a hospital birth for lack of better options, but thought it was a good point.)

Milestones: Down to the double digits for the countdown! Less than 100 days to go.

Emotions: All over the place. Happy. Excited. Anxious. Nervous. It's weird to me that I'm more stressed out about this upcoming birth than I was for my first. The thought of the labor & delivery consumes my mind.

Christmas Survey

2010-12-03T20:13:00.000-06:00

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Usually wrapping paper. I love to decorate wrapped gifts with rafia and embellishments like ornaments or cookie cutters for added excitement.

2. Real tree or artificial?
Real. I love the tradition of going as a family and finding "the perfect tree" and the excitement of the whole day, listening to Christmas music, and decorating the tree together.

3. When do you put up the tree?
Weekend after Thanksgiving typically.

4. Do you like eggnog?
I don't know if I've ever tried it. I think it's safe to say that I don't though.

5. Favorite gift received as a child?
I remember the year I got my "My Little Pony" castle. That was exciting! :)

6. Do you have a nativity scene?
I do not.

7. Hardest person to buy for?
My husband. (It was so easy when we were dating. I don't know what changed.)

8. Easiest person to buy for?
Aubrey. She loves everything.

9. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Mail

10. Favorite Christmas movie?
Elf (we just watched that...I can't think of any others)

11. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
It varies. I'm guilty of waiting until the last minute.

12. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Leftse

13. Clear lights or colored lights on the tree?
We always have clear, but I like both.

14. Favorite Christmas song?
"Baby It's Cold Outside" & Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You".

15. Travel or stay home at Christmas?
Stay home.

16. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
Dasher, Dancer, Commet, Blitzen, Cupid, Donner, Prancer, Rudolph. (I don't think that's right though....I'm singing the song in my head. I can't decide if there's a Prancer and Dancer or if I'm combining the two.)

17. Angel on tree top or star?
It's an antique snowflake/star-looking thing.

18. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Our family tradition is to open presents from each other Christmas Eve, and Santa presents Christmas morning.

19. The most annoying thing about this time of year?
Driving in bad weather.

20. What I love most about Christmas
Family togetherness. Holiday food. Smells & sounds. Excitement. Kids. Cozy houses decorated pretty. Christmas lights. Fireplaces. Hot drinks. Warm blankets. Watching big snowflakes falling outside. Traditions. Christmas spirit & miracles. :) The reason for the season.

The search for our perfect tree

2010-12-02T22:11:00.008-06:00

We finally got to go get our tree on Saturday!
It was fun looking at all the trees trying to find the right one.

So many to choose from....hmmmmm......

The past three years we've chosen Native Balsam Firs. Aka "Charlie Brown tree", "What the hell kind of tree is that?" or "little ugly tree". Regardless of what other people think I absolutely love this type of tree. Something about the cute, single barely there branches are endearing to me. I love contrasts and once a Charlie Brown tree is fancied up with beautiful antique ornaments it truly is a sight to see (at least I think so!)

This year we ended up choosing a regular Balsam Fir (for stability reasons- we didn't want to take our chances of having our one year old knock it over).

We did have to purchase more lights however, we weren't prepared for all the extra branches! :)

But I must say I love our tree and am quite happy with our choice.

And it's a good thing we went with a sturdy tree because just as we suspected Aubrey is quite fascinated by it and can't keep her curious little hands off it. Her new favorite word is "pit-eee" (pretty) as she points to the tree. :)

What I wouldn't do for one of these

2010-12-01T16:14:00.004-06:00

"What is your favorite Thanksgiving food?" was the question asked at the table this year. From pumpkin pie to green bean casserole everyone had a different response. While I love the Thanksgiving meal, my favorite Thanksgiving food is actually the leftovers. Nothing beats a delicious turkey sandwich with cranberries. Seriously. So good.

Snow day!

2010-11-30T09:42:00.006-06:00

I will admit, I sometimes feel like a kid when school is closed due to weather because that means I get to take the day off too. Tuesdays I drive nearly an hour to another town to teach dance which means Aubrey goes to daycare and I'm gone most of the day. Even though canceling class and rescheduling a make-up class can end up being more work- when the roads are covered in snow and it's windier than ever I would much rather be home. I did have some errands I needed to run but pretty sure that's not going to happen anytime soon. It started snowing yesterday. Roads were terrible on my way to dance yesterday, and last night when I got home I could only make it half-way up my driveway before my tires started spinning. Travis was able to get my car into the garage no problem. I don't know what it is about guys but he is always able to get my car up the driveway when it's icy. Clearly giving it hell and letting my tires spin until the are bald isn't the solution? I try driving normal and that doesn't get me far so I practically back up into my neighbors driveway and floor it to get a "running start". Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I need a snowmobile. LOL.

So today we will be camping out inside enjoying our "snow day". Maybe we'll make cookies for daddy. What would you do with a snow day???

25 weeks

2010-11-29T21:31:00.001-06:00

Maternity clothes: I'm wearing my regular jeans for the most part. Can I zip or button them? Not a chance. I've been getting by using the 'ol hair binder through the button hole trick and bella bands. And I wear maternity shirts when regular shirts just aren't long enough. (wish I could live in my comfy velour pants!)

Sleep: Lots of tossing & turning. I wake up on my back or on my right side quite frequently. It's tough to stay on my left side!
.
Movement: Lots and still loving it. I can actually see an arm or leg moving around across my belly once in awhile.

Food cravings: All of it. :)

Food aversions: Nope.

Gender: Still thinking boy.

What I'm looking forward to: Switching around the kid's rooms and getting things ready for baby.

.What I miss: Sleeping on my back.

Milestones: Passing my glucose test.

And that is why I love him.

2010-11-28T20:20:00.000-06:00

It's no secret that my peanut butter craving is getting a little out of hand. The batch of puppy chow we made got left behind at my in-laws. On our way home Thursday night I asked if Trav remembered to pack it with our other leftovers. He did not. I was distraught thinking about what I would snack on when we got home. I thought about making another batch but knew I was a tad ridiculous. I also couldn't help but notice the large pan of delicious Special K bars sitting on the counter as we were saying our goodbyes. Chewy peanut buttery bars loaded with a thick layer of chocolate. It took everything in me not to stick some in my pockets on our way out the door. I made a comment to Trav in the car that I wish I would have grabbed a bar for the road (as if I hadn't had my fill of food for one day). On Friday Travis took Mason out to Trav's parents to target shoot. Aubrey and I stayed home. When he returned he showed up with the ice cream bucket half full of puppy chow. When I opened it up I couldn't have been happier to see the delightful surprise waiting for me. This is love.

Holiday Chutney & Pheasant Appetizer

2010-11-27T10:07:00.000-06:00

My husband and I created this recipe last fall. We're always looking for delicious ways to prepare his goods from the woods. If you are not a fan of wild game you can substitute the pheasant for chicken. If you do like birds from the wild, grouse or duck would work well with this recipe too. We're a fan of the pheasant with this one.

Chutney
1 cup water & 3/4 cup sugar
12 oz. cranberries
1 cup apples-peeled, cored & diced (I use honeycrisp)
balsamic vinegar (I just eyeball splashes of it. 1/2 cup?)
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
1/4-1/2 cup roasted chopped pecans

Bring water and sugar to boil over medium heat. Add remaining ingredients and simmer 10-20 minutes. Cover & chill or let sit at room temperature.

Pheasant
slice into 2-3 inch pieces. Cook in a fry pan with butter, salt & pepper over medium-low heat.

Baguette
Take-n-bake french baguettes work best. Bake 8-10 min at 350. Slice bread and arrange on baking sheet. Brush with olive oil, season with kosher salt & fresh cracked pepper. Broil approx. 2 minutes (until golden).

Assemble pheasant slices on top of toasted baguettes and top with chutney. Enjoy!

Mmmmm Holidays....

2010-11-26T09:05:00.012-06:00

Yesterday we went to my in-laws to celebrate Thanksgiving. We brought Wassail, cranberry chutney with pheasant appetizers, pumpkin-chipotle couscous, and puppy chow (totally didn't go with our theme but let's be honest, I knew I was going to need something chocolatey and peanut buttery at some point during the day.) The Wassail was a hit- I had never made it before but love me a good hot beverage so thought it was worth trying.

In case you were wondering...

"A mulled cider type drink, Wassail is a holiday tradition in many countries. This hot, spiced punch is most popular at Christmas. It usually contains fruit juices, cinnamon, cloves and other spices."

I've had this recipe for several years from an old co-worker. There are many variations out there- but I must say this is the golden ticket. (Confirmed by this cute image of a recipe I found with the exact ingredients of the recipe given to me).

2 quarts apple juice or cider
1 pint cranberry juice
3/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon aromatic bitters
2 sticks cinnamon
1 teaspoon whole allspice
1 orange, studded with whole cloves
1 cup rum (optional)

Put all ingredients in crock pot. Cover and cook on High for 1 hour, then on Low for 4-8 hours. Makes 12 cups.

If you love cider you should try this wassail- it was so good. I'm actually making another pot right now because my husband loved it so much- and yes, he added the optional rum to every glass he enjoyed. :) I'm trying it this time without the sugar (I thought it was pretty sweet and want to find out it it's really necessary to add the sugar or not. I'll let you know.) And it makes your whole house smell like Holiday Cheer! :) Who doesn't love that?!?!

24 weeks

2010-11-23T20:15:00.004-06:00

Best Moment of the Week: At our ultrasound appointment yesterday we found out that baby is not breech anymore. I know it's completely normal for babies to be breech this early (50% are) but it still had me worried.

Movement: Lots! For about the last 8 weeks or so I've been feeling all kinds of movement. So much that we had to have a second ultrasound (yesterday). Baby was moving too much during our last ultrasound that they weren't able to get good enough pictures of the heart (same thing happened with Aubrey- my babies are movers).

Food Craving: Peanut butter. My favorite is PB on blueberry waffles with maple syrup. My brother did that as a kid and I always thought it was gross. But definitely loving that lately. So weird. Yet so good.

Symptoms: Heartburn. It wakes me up in the middle of the night. Not fun.

Gender: Well, we aren't finding out...but my first instincts were boy. Then for a long time I was thinking it was another girl until just recently I'm back to thinking it's a boy. Both pregnancies have been very similar except that I don't have the line on my belly this time. I suppose it could still show up. Other than that though- everything has been pretty much the same as my last pregnancy.

What I'm looking forward to: Having a glass of wine. Fitting into my old jeans without having to use a bella band. Holding and snuggling a new baby. Seeing Aubrey's reaction to a baby brother or sister.

Weekly Wisdom: From other moms I've talked to it's unanimous: the second baby labor/delivery is much easier than the first. (That's the hope!)

Milestones: I don't know if this is a milestone or not....but Trav and I were certain we had our names picked out and the other day I referred to baby as our boy name in the same sentence with Aubrey. I couldn't help but think I didn't like it anymore. A few minutes later Travis asked me when we decided on Aubrey's name. It got us talking names again and I asked Trav if he still liked our boy name. He hesitated and then we both agreed we don't. And as quickly as we tossed out that name we came up with another (jokingly) but admitted that we both liked it. A lot. Who knows if it will stick or not, but good to know we're on the same page with names. ;)

Just for fun!

2010-11-19T09:53:00.003-06:00

I've been trying to figure out how to make my blog more visually attractive and functional. I wanted to add a slideshow of pictures to my sidebar (is that even what it's called?) but was having trouble. Somehow I was able to transfer the following slideshows that I made a few years ago.

If you build it they will come. Right?

2010-11-12T19:38:00.001-06:00

I originally started this blog to document and share my experiences training for my first marathon (and basically my journey of "learning" how to run in 5 months) with my friends and family. People would often asked me how training was going and I would invite them to check out my blog.

After my marathons I struggled with "what next"? I didn't want to quit blogging. I started to transition my blog into random updates and pictures of my daughter a way for friends and family to stay updated I guess even though there really wasn't a need for it. I'm discovering that I'm not really interested in having a blog that is just about Aubrey or my family. I wanted it to be about more than that. A way for me to connect with other people to discuss interesting things (not that I don't think my family is interesting). I definitely enjoy reading other blogs. I find myself wishing I had readers I could ask questions to and be inspired by or vice versa. I have topics I want to write about such as pregnancy, childbirth, nutrition & health, recipes, hobbies, hosting parties, online shopping, designing weddings, & changing the world just to name a few. In addition, I want to write about all the things most bloggers blog about; hopes, dreams, struggles, triumphs, possibilities, and everything else in between.

I'm a somewhat private person, so dipping my feet into the blogging world was huge for me. For example, I've never had a facebook account and I never plan to. I'm old fashioned in many ways and am just not into keeping tabs on everyone else's lives from my high school or college days. I don't have 637 friends. I have a handful of close friends who I keep in touch with through phone calls, email and even letters in the mail. I love the simplicity of living in my own little world and not always knowing what's going on in the world of "facebook." Blogging appealed to me however, because I love writing. I love relationships. I love people. Blogging seemed to make sense. After stumbling across a blog called "Sarah Says" I was even more intrigued. Everything about her was interesting to me. But at the same time she was just an ordinary 20-something girl, just like me. Who write stories about her life and the journey it's taking her on. I like reading stories, I like telling stories. Blogging could be my thing I thought to myself. An outlet. And so into the world I entered. From there I continued and continue to be intrigued by the blogs I stumble upon.

From following other blogs I've learned that one of the great things about blogging is writing to the readers- asking real life questions and getting feedback from people with a multitude of backgrounds and differences. Only problem: I don't have hundreds of followers. I don't even have dozens of followers. So I must ask- to my fellow blog friends- how did you establish your blog and become "known"? How did you attract readers? Do I just start writing even if no one is listening? If I build it, will they come?

Tell me your secrets. How did you get people to read and respond to your blogs?

Just wanted to say "hi"

2010-11-03T14:32:00.001-05:00

For those of you who don't know yet, we're expecting baby #2 in March!!! Had our ultrasound today. Our ultrasound tech was awesome. Fun to see our little baby moving around his or her little legs and arms, opening and closing it's mouth. Baby's little feet were crossed one on top of the other. Just hanging out. I love it. I've been feeling baby kick and move around for almost a month now. I'm a little over 21 weeks. Due date is March 14th. We're not finding out. We like being surprised :) That's all for now. Just wanted to share our news with blog friends and baby wanted to say "hi". :)

Happy Halloween

2010-10-29T13:04:00.001-05:00

Aubrey got together with some friends for a Halloween photo shoot at a farm. My photographer friend Stef took pictures of this kids. It was fun to see all the cute costumes.

Aubrey is a 50s girl for Halloween this year. I knew I had to pick something as close to "normal" clothes as possible after trying on a Lion costume about a month ago. She was not a fan of having anything on her head and wanted it off immediately. I thought it would be funny to take Aubrey Trick-or-Treating as the cast from Wizard of Oz. But chances are Aubrey wouldn't be the only one protesting costumes.

Last year she was a baby kitty. She wasn't too sure about it but she didn't really protest either. If I knew how to post videos I would show you a clip of her reaction to wearing the kitty costume. :)

We've been having a great fall. I was hoping to post more pictures but we've misplaced our memory card reader....Entries without pictures are pretty blah. So hopefully soon I will be posting more frequently.

Have a happy and safe Halloween everyone!

Trip to Colorado

2010-09-08T10:43:00.001-05:00

Aubrey and I flew to Denver for a few days to visit our friends Kacee & Reid and their little boy Archer. It was Aubrey's third time traveling by airplane but she was only a few months old the first couple times so she slept the whole time. I was a little nervous with how she would do. It went much better than I anticipated. She's a busy little girl so it was constant entertaining on my part, but she did really well. She didn't want to sit on my lap so she played on the floor for most of the flight.

We had a wonderful time! Here are some highlights from our mini-vaca.

I think the temp was close to 90 most of the time we were there. The kiddies loved playing in the pool. It's always fun to splash around! :)

I was so excited to take Aubrey to the Denver Zoo. She loves animals so I knew she would be fascinated. We got there early to avoid the crowds. Perfect day complete with lunch at a fun little Mexican joint.

Little buddies waiting for their breakfast. They played so well together. It was really fun watching them interact.

Archer & Aubrey taking a bath. Is anything cuter than babies in a bathtub?? :)

Bye-bye Colorado. On the way home she had her own seat so it was much easier. She even relaxed a little and watched a DVD for a little bit. It maybe helped that it was an early morning flight so she was sleepy.

It was a really fun trip. Thanks Kacee, Reid & Archer! Hope we can do it again someday!

One Year Pictures

2010-08-27T14:51:00.002-05:00

My good friend Stef recently launched her dream business as a children's photographer. Her vision is creative and fresh and Aubrey and I were lucky enough to schedule an appointment with her. She captured some really cute pictures. Click here to see more! :)

Randomness.

2010-08-19T09:14:00.001-05:00

A little update since I've been MIA. (It was easy for me to add new posts regularly when I was running, after all this is my "running blog"). Now that the training has ceased my blog has been having an identity crisis. LOL. I entered the blogging world back in March and at the time was training to run my first marathon. I loved the idea of documenting and sharing my journey of learning how to run with others. In December I took a leap of faith by registering for my first marathon. At the time I signed up for this challenge I could make it approximately 2 minutes on the treadmill until I had to stop running to walk. Crazy? That's what most people's response was. But for those of you who know me, being told I can't do something only makes me want to try harder. (I get that from my dad). I'm not an all-star runner by any means. I will never qualify for Boston or win an award. I'm simply a person who is inspired to take chances. Even when it's completely out of my comfort zone. Training for and running a marathon taught me things about myself I never would have learned. Things that I hope to apply to my every day life. For me the addiction isn't in the actual act of running itself. It's the feelings you go through along the way. It's empowering. I hope to run more marathons in the future but for now my priorities are changing. However, I do want to continue blogging by documenting and sharing thoughts on life. So if you're up for the randomness stick around and stay awhile.

Anniversay trip 2010: Chicago

2010-07-28T13:42:00.001-05:00

In 2007, following our wedding we went on a road trip through North Dakota, Montana, Wyoming and South Dakota. (It took me a long time to call it our honeymoon because I was in denial and thought we'd go on a Caribbean Cruise that Winter). I remember the day we packed the car having second thoughts about this road trip adventure. I just wasn't sure it was my thing. I knew my new husband was excited so I put on my good-sport-pants and decided to make the most of it. And boy was I glad I did. From camping and horseback riding in the mountains to staying in big cities and driving through parts of the country I didn't even know existed- was unforgettable. I loved figuring it out as we went along. No plans. No agenda. We just took it one day at a time. And it was one of the best times we've ever had. In attempt to relive just a portion of our honeymoon, for our first anniversary we spent a weekend up on the North Shore of Lake Superior. Last year our baby girl was only about 5 weeks old. We debated even going anywhere but ended up finding a cool new hotel within an hour of my parents house and decided we could handle a quick overnight get-away. This year my husband happened to be going to Chicago for work right around our anniversary. He had to be there for a full week and I decided to come with for a few days. We loved the city and all the great places to eat. One night we had a "Flight of Pizza". You know how you can order a flight of wine and try 3 different wines? Well we did that with pizza at 3 different places. Yes, all in one night. What? I was only there 3 nights. We had to make the most of it and there were so many good places to try. We started out with a margherita pizza at a little bistro on the street outside. Then we tried a roasted duck flatbread pizza (our favorite) at a trendy little joint that reminded me of LA. Finally, we finished strong at Gino's East, apparently "The Best Deep Dish Pizza in Chicago". (We did have to wait in line on the street for nearly 30 minutes. And it was pretty darn good). I don't think I remember ever feeling hungry the rest of the trip....
I did lots of shopping on Michigan Ave. while he was busy with class all day and at night we explored the city and enjoyed trying new things. The chocolate coconut Gelato down on Navy Pier was quite possibly my favorite. It was a great trip. Great city. It's always fun to get away and do new things together as a couple. There were a few times it felt like we were dating again. Just fun and carefree. We've decided to make this a tradition, and every year in July we're going to go somewhere we've never been together.

3 years

2010-07-21T07:53:00.002-05:00

Three years ago today I married the person I knew I couldn't live without.

The person who made my life everything I wanted it to be.

We've been through a lot together and it certainly hasn't always been easy.

But it's the hard times that make you appreciate the good times.

It's the challenges and struggles that make you grateful for everything you have.

Marriage is a journey. And there is no one else I would rather be in this journey with. {I often catch myself saying, "that is why I love him."}

"The best thing in life to hold onto is each other." ~Audrey Hepburn
Happy Anniversary Trav and cheers to a lifetime of reasons to celebrate!

So many people. So many stories.

2010-07-16T20:36:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite things about marathons is the runners themselves. Each person has the own story, their own reason, their own journey. We're all running for something. And we're doing it together. Maybe that's why it's hard to come across someone who has only ran one marathon. That might be the original plan (to just run one marathon). But it will get you, and you'll be back for more.

There's a small group of elite runners who race to win. But the other thousands of runners are just ordinary people like you and me. Marni and I were lucky enough to have the chance to talk to other runners along the way and hear their stories. We talked to a couple who were running their first marathon together, sporting matching shirts that read "26 miles for 26 years". They went on to say how running a marathon is a great metaphor for marriage. So very true. We talked to another couple wearing "Bride" and "Groom" shirts to discover their wedding was the very next day! We also saw a runner wearing a tank that read "Baby Carlson on board". Towards the end we chatted with some solo runners running their first! It was fun having conversations with people.

Media choppers capturing footage of the marathon. They were circling over us at the start of the race too.

I think this was right around mile 13. Or 15. Most of the race was great. It was a beautiful day. Beautiful route. The fans were great. I was in good company. I just started to get really tired this time and I never was able to get over it. My dad said he noticed around mile 19 that I looked different and my smile was forced. Sounds about right. I felt pretty crappy but like one of the kids on the side of the street yelled to the runners- I just kept putting one foot in front of the other....

Finally coming into Duluth at mile 19. We could see Duluth/Canal Park (finish line) in the horizon several times throughout the course. It seemed sooooooooooo far away!

Downtown Duluth. Marni was such a rock star. As you can see I was struggling to keep up with her! I don't know how many miles we had left but I swear I heard "ONLY ONE MORE MILE" for the last 3 miles....seriously it was tough.

With our girls after the race. Everyone was happy to be done!

Enjoying some post-race icecream with Aubrey. All in all it was another great experience. Very thankful to my family for coming to support me again and to Marni for signing up to run with me. Congratulations to all the runners!

Sea of runners

2010-06-22T11:34:00.001-05:00

Here's a little preview of Saturday's marathon. I think this was right around mile 5. The first time we saw our fans! Marni and I are waving if you can find us. More race details coming soon.

Another Marathon. Another Mission.

2010-06-18T09:07:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow morning I will be toeing the line (not really since I will be in the back half of the 7000+ marathon runners) in Two Harbors, MN at the start of Grandma's Marathon. I just ran my first marathon 4 weeks ago and did it finishing at a comfortable time of 5:05:34. (I say "comfortable" because I didn't push myself to get a certain goal time). My friend Marni is also running (her first!) and we've decided to run in the 5 hour pace group (same as what I did in Fargo). I have not done any speed training to get a better time since I only had 4 weeks (and tapering is important), so it's probably best that I run at the same pace as Fargo. Marni gave me a great idea for the last 6 miles which are arguably the hardest. Think about one person for that entire mile. I will be running ipod-free and have plenty of time to think. Nothing fuels my fire more than thinking about the frustration I feel with stories similar to Dru's. I will be thinking about the following individuals tomorrow during my race and running in their honor (click on their name to learn more);
Mile 21- Joan D'Alessandro
Mile 22- Kim Montelaro
Mile 23- The mile with the hill. Leaving this one open for all the families who are on their personal uphill battle, still searching for their missing family member and/or their killer.
Mile 24- Jennifer Kesse
Mile 25- Chelsea King
Mile 26- Dru Sjodin

"We must become the change we want to see."
Mahatma Gandhi

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

2010-06-12T16:01:00.001-05:00

Aubrey's first birthday was on Thursday, June 10th. Today we had her birthday party at our home with our families. Here are some pictures of the day.

She kept looking over at me like "are you sure it's okay that I'm doing this?"

Kids table; complete with crayons, pink applesauce, crackers and juice boxes.

What it's all about

2010-06-01T15:23:00.002-05:00

Racing teaches us to challenge ourselves. It teaches us to push beyond where we thought we could go. It helps us to find out what we are made of. This is what we do. This is what it's all about.

PattiSue Plumer, U.S. Olympian

At least it's a good addiction....

2010-05-31T22:51:00.002-05:00

Well, it's official. Today I signed up for my second marathon. I've decided to run Grandma's Marathon in Duluth, MN in three weeks. I haven't been able to stop thinking about "what's next?" The night we celebrated after running Fargo my head was racing with ideas or thoughts about when or where I would run again. I haven't been able to shake the urge and decided to go for it. I ran 20 miles yesterday with Marni (who is probably going to be running the full with me too!) and it felt good. I plan on following the training I did for my last marathon (the last 3 weeks of it) and I should be good to go. I've heard good things about Grandma's Marathon and I'm excited. I love Duluth and that area. It will be a scenic, beautiful route along Lake Superior. I'm not planning on setting a time goal for this marathon being that it's only 3 weeks away. I just want to enjoy it and hopefully smile as much as I did the last time! ; ) Throughout the Fargo Marathon, my husband kept making comments to people that I was enjoying too much. He wanted to see me struggle. Not really, but I think he was hoping it would be a one time thing for me like I had planned. But the look on my face told him I was going to do it again. I said I was just going to do one (when I signed up 5 months ago) but he knew better. In fact the first thing he said (besides "don't you think you should start with a half?") was "You are going to get addicted." Well honey, you were right, but at least it's a good addiction. : )

Beautiful Day.

2010-05-27T17:38:00.001-05:00

The morning of the marathon I was overwhelmed with excitement yet I had a calmness about me. It was raining, and with 20 minutes until go time we lined up and waited. Standing in the rain the U2 song "Beautiful Day" was playing over the speakers. I smiled and thought to myself, despite the rain it was going to be a beautiful day. The national anthem was sang. And then someone (race director?) said a prayer. I wish I had a copy of it. It was amazing and motivating. I heard the gunshot and like a herd we all began moving forward. It took me 2 and a half minutes to get to the start line in the midst of the 1800+ marathon runners. Through the rain we ran. And from the start there were fans lining the streets. Standing in the rain holding up signs and cheering for all the runners. It was awesome. The dedication they possessed was really something. Before we even reached mile 1 there was a college student standing alone cheering words of encouragement to all the runners "Great job guys! Keep going! You can do it! You've already made it farther than I could have!" He made us laugh. I overheard a couple runners by me comment that it made them feel pretty good because they were at least twice his age. It was motivating to see all the people standing in the rain cheering on people they probably didn't even know. I was smiling. And continued to smile at everyone around me. It only rained for the first couple miles. Throughout the race I soaked up everything I could from this experience. Signs of encouragement everywhere. People cheering, shaking cow bells, banging pie pans together (a little old lady who had to be in her 90's sat in a lawn chair all alone, wearing the biggest smile I've ever seen, clanging pie pans together for the runners). Kids lining the curb, extending there hands hoping to "high five" a runner or two (you bet I ran over to slap their hand!) The people who came out to support the runners made this marathon what it was for me.

There were a few times during my 26.2 miles I got emotional. The first time happened right around mile 7, running through the Concordia College campus. My feet hit the cobblestone path that lead to the bell tower as the bells rang loudly. I looked around and felt like I had been there before. And then it occurred to me that I had been there before with Dru. I got chills and my eyes filled up with tears. Our senior year in high school Dru's dad took us on a road trip to Moorhead to tour Concordia. Thinking about Dru reminded me that this wasn't just another run. It wasn't just a marathon. It was a journey. It was my journey to make a difference for her.

I have many, many great memories in Fargo-Moorhead and throughout my training I hadn't really thought about how I would literally be running down memory lane...until my flashback at Concordia. I went to college at Moorhead State. Where I met my husband. And where I met some of my best friends. Travis and I got engaged at Hotel Donaldson in Downtown Fargo where we stayed for the marathon. During college I was a nanny for a family of three kids. I ran into their dad at the Fargodome the morning of the race. He was running the half. Throughout Fargo I was reminded of places I use to take them. It was one thing after another. But all good memories that made the course sentimental.

Another time I teared up was when I saw an older man running pushing another person in a cart. Beyond inspiring. Beyond amazing.

It was a beautiful day, and all around me I felt the energy of the runners. The momentum that pounded on the pavement is still ringing loud and clear in my heart. I never want to forget the way I felt on May 22, 2010 when the thought "I don't think I can do this" never entered my mind. I can't even explain what that feels like.

The last time I got emotional was towards the end. A few miles from the finish. At this point I was listening to music on my ipod (I had it ready to go but only listened to music the last part of the race, and actually my playlist that I used for my long runs was falling flat, I was almost bored with it). I looked around at the empty curbs and the empty road and thought "I'm all alone" and then the Train song "When I look to the Sky" came on just as the wind picked up. "When I look to the sky, something tells me your here with and I can always find my way when you are near...." Right when I started to feel alone, I was reminded that I was not.

Here are some pictures from the marathon. I had the best fans and wish I would have gotten a group picture with them all! Thank you for coming out to support me. I had lots of fans who couldn't be there but were with me in spirit! I love and appreciate you all! xoxo Kelsey

At about mile 4.5. I saw my first group of fans! Talk about exciting. My parents, my mother-in-law and father-in-law, my husband's brother, wife and 3 year old son, my husband and baby girl waiting for me in our friends yard. All cheering me on. I ran straight to Aubrey, kissed her, and carried on.

Every time I saw "my fans" I got a kick of excitement and adrenaline. I saw them again at about mile 7. And this time my brother, wife, and two boys were with. I noticed them as soon as I heard Jenna yelling my name.

About mile 15. It heated up when the sun came out. Some fans in the neighborhoods had hoses and sprinklers to spray the runners, it was very much appreciated. Although one time I got soaked and felt 10 pounds heavier with wet clothes. At least it felt better than being too hot!

There were definitely times I was searching for something to cool me off. When I noticed my nephew Jack and his dad with a squirt gun (at about mile 20) I ran straight towards him. Perfect shot Jack, thanks buddy!

How cute are my fans? And not to mention the cute shirts they made! (on the back it said "Go Kels" with my bib number). Nicely done Amanda!

The last 6 miles or so were much quieter, and even a little lonely at times. But there was never a point during the marathon where I felt like I wasn't going to be able to finish. Just took a little more inner strength and the will to keep moving forward. And I did just that. I kept moving forward until I reached my goal. And actually, I didn't even stop after crossing the finish line (just ask Kacee....she wanted to give me a big hug and I just kept going. I just couldn't stop.) It's kinda funny, because that's probably the most important thing I've learned throughout this journey. Don't ever stop. Even when you reach your goal. Don't stop. Keep going.

"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go."

Me and my happy little girl after the race. She did a great job clapping for the runners! She's been walking for about a month now, but just the other day her feet were moving pretty quick and it looked like she was trying to run. I think she got inspired in Fargo. LOL : )

All smiles here!

2010-05-23T22:27:00.001-05:00

I was told I smiled the entire race. Actually I know I did. I couldn't help it. It was a beautiful day. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. My time was 5:05:34. My goals were to run the entire time without stopping, FINISH, ENJOY it and feel good about it. A bonus would have been to finish under 5 hours, but I guess that will have to be my goal next time! Kacee (pictured here with me) did AWESOME and finished with the time of 3:51:19. Congratulations to all the runners! What a great experience!

{more race details and pictures coming soon...}

Series of Steps

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

What's on your playlist?

If...

Because I can.

Why do you run?

Back to work!

homemade pizza

All about Stella

The start of something good.

Picture updates of "Summer Fun"

Summer Fun!

Thai Chili Chicken Strips

Back to the (b)asics...

It's a party!

A day at the ZOO

tragic loss

the perfect card.

Dealing with colic

Best. (Baby-related) Purchase. Ever.

Spring shoes & delish pizza

I need my arms back

Melt. My. Heart.

Just us girls

Introducing...

39 1/2 weeks

Chocolate, anyone?

Sneak Peak

38 weeks

Aubrey's Birth Story Part 3

Standing still

Baby Checklist

37 weeks

Aubrey's Birth Story Part 2

Winter Fun!

36 weeks

Who knew?

Project 52: Week 6

Aubrey's Birth Story Part 1

perspective.

35 weeks

Project 52: Week 5

en·nui

barefoot & in the kitchen

details

Hands down

Ahhh-mazing

I heart February

34 weeks

Project 52: Week 4

Is this a problem?

Exhausted...

33 weeks

Project 52: Week 3

I need a duallie

for the love of fleece

32 Weeks

Project 52: Week 2

Prayer.

31 weeks

Project 52

New Year's Eve

30 weeks

Love this stuff.

29 weeks & some catching up!

Yes please.

28 weeks

I can't stop

27 weeks

Tis the season

I miss Wednesday...

Book Review

26 weeks

Christmas Survey

The search for our perfect tree

What I wouldn't do for one of these

Snow day!

25 weeks

And that is why I love him.

Holiday Chutney & Pheasant Appetizer